Ye Morning Poste

Serpent?s Hold Held!
...By Greenskirted Traitors

This week has seen some horrendous mishaps ? only yesterday, on another of my attempted odysseys to Yew, my poor little footsie got rather stuck in the mud and I lost one of my most favourite shoes. It had a simply gorgeous slender heel, with a devilish mix of glitter and a stimulating splash of sequins. I shall have to buy at least a dozen more pairs by the time the week is out to get over my love of that little shoe.

In spite of my plight, it seems that ?Daftie? Devante has earned himself a sob story that maybe even tops my tale of woe. Armed with his trusty bow and hearty pride, he and his merry band of marksmen set off to capture the Kaldorian infested hole of Serpent?s Hold once and for all. Unfortunately for the poor old Captain, he didn?t get permission from Jordan Jurrel (doesn?t he just look dashing in that gleaming armour of his? He could certainly dip his quill in my inkwell any day!) to go ahead with the reckless invasion and, of course, they were a sorry state indeed.

The Kaldorian fleabags, hungry for victory and famous for their rigid ?box? formations and brutish axe waving, were quick to claim this easy battle as theirs. Learning from this predictable outcome, of course, the marksmen then came at the greenskirts once again in a much similar manner and were battered senseless once again. It was at this point that the Captain brought out his most devious tactical plan and? ran into the pointy objects the Kaldorians were holding once again. Oh dear.

Battered and bruised, the marksmen returned home. The Kaldorians, it seems, can keep their rat-infested hell-hole of Serpent?s Hold? at least for now.



Bar Staff Battered!
Frightful happenings in Vesper?

Further shock and dismay! The much loved (by Rebel scumbags and off-duty Loyalists alike) Swaggers Inn in Vesper was broken into most viciously by 4 unidentified suspects. A flustered barmaid was reported to have run off to find some local sober guards ? who was she kidding?

Choosing the proactive method of robbing, the brigands were quick to wound barmaid Becca?s new ?best friend? Hedlyn ap Rhyn and also Tom Black. Considering this as a little too peaceful for their liking, Hanse?s Niece Lotnya Davion was smacked violently as an afterthought. Happiy, Rebecca ran off and left her chums to bleed alone, so at least one barmaid?s left to serve the drinks!

A reward of 10, 000 coins has been offered to any local vigilantes and mercenaries who can bring the suspects to the Vesperian jail, although the preferred vital condition of the suspects was not specified. According to Rebecca, who is offering the reward, the dastardly robbers looked a little bit like..well?:

I don?t know about you, dear readers, but that ?orc? look just makes me swoon! If you?re approached by any of these individuals, please refrain from running away in terror ? smack ?em over the head with a frying pan and drag them to jail!






Rumours


It?s been mentioned so often lately that it has to be published. Don?t you think the Duchy Guard of Trinsic are just the most benevolent and delightful force ever to grace the land of Sosaria? We certainly think so, and we give extra special notice to the lovely Kaelyn, who has promised so kind-heartedly to let the Poste Office stay in Trinsic despite its overwhelming debt. Of course, donations are always welcome!





Lovely Duchy Notices


Banned from Duchy Lands

Name: Dabu
Gender: Male
Race: Orc
Skin: sickly green
Hair: none
Description: Looks and smells like an Orc and also cannot talk proper Britannian
Weapon: some swords or crude bones
Last seen wearing: Leather armor and some ghastly animal Helmet
Accused of: Assault, thievery, kidnapping, robbery
Description: Dabu was partly responsible of the kidnapping of Ruadnit Troi. Also he was responsible for several robbings and assaults in the Duchy.

For all these crimes he is not allowed on Duchy lands and can and should be be slain by anyone that meets him on Duchy grounds.



Warrant

Name: Thaur Macil
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Skin: Light
Hair: Black
Description: Large man with dark long hair and beard. Normally shows bad manners and not too much intelligence
Last seen wearing: Dark leather armour, red doublet, sandals.
Weapon: Crossbow
Accused of: He is wanted for questioning regarding the prison break of the man called Kurt or Quasim

Description: When we arrested the man that had assisted in kidnapping Miss Troi, Thaur was eager to help and defend him. As that man escaped from the jail, Thaur surely knows more about that man and is needed for interrogation.


Warrant

Name: Kurt, alias Quasim
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Skin: Dark
Hair: White
Description: A man of average height and stature. He has black short hair and a quite sortly trimmed black beard
Last seen wearing: Dark leather armour, a red bandana
Weapon: unknown
Accused of: Kidnapping Lady Troi, escaping from prison






Whats on?


We've not been invited to anything! Please, send invitations, general notices and all manner of event notices our way. We'll be sure to tell everyone about it!