| Jyslin is wrong, I know she is. Xun’riia came back, I confronted her and she explained why she went away. She told me she went away to secretly learn more of the arcane. I had my doubts as Jyslin’s poisoned words kept echoing in my mind. I hurt Xun, I needed to learn the truth but she stood up to me defiantly and proved she was indeed learning. I was angry, Lloth knows how angry I was but I was also confused, wracked with doubts.
What is going on? Jyslin’s words tell me one thing, Xun’riia’s mind and actions tell me another. I am being pulled apart and I cannot seem to resolve the conflict. I pray to the Divine Mother for guidance, but she does not answer and this confuses me too. It was me who brought a heretic back into her fold, back into the bosom of the true Drow. She should be pleased, yet she ignores me. Why should this be? Is it me she tests or have I indeed make a grave error and my goddess has abandoned me?
No. I have seen inside Xun’riia’s mind. I know what she wants though I do not fully understand why. She wants the pain, but she wants it for herself and me not for Lloth. And yet later when we went to the temple, Xun’riia fully committed herself to Lloth and myself once more. We exchanged lifesblood, we are now one with Lloth. We took the oath.
“To the one who betrays the other, let Lloth take her soul and condemn it to eternal suffering”
It is done. I have made my decision. Am I strong or am I weak? Who is now dominating whom? |