| Who let this fourteen year old wee girl join the ranks of an army... I saw her, hair pink as...as pink as can be. Cheery young thing no doubt. Very energetic as is to be expected. And a real prankster it seems.
I was looking around for the rest and there she was. Talked to her a bit and she offered to show me some very nice place. I do trust any person wearing the Kaldorian uniform so I went through the gate the wee child had opened. Very talented for her age. Next thing I am in a Trinsic cell, she dispelled the gate and vanished.
Not funny at all I thought....After a while she reappeared and gated me back to the keep. Under any other circumstances I would have laughed. But being grumpy (maybe I'm just getting old...) and hostile with the Duchy, I did not find it funny. I wasn't about to punish a 14 year old though, uniform or not.
Was walking with the girl in tow and I reached the bath house. Many voices I could hear and I saw Shelly and Victor standing on the steps alone in their bathing suits. Hit me the wrong way.
They were all cheery for some reason. I was in no mood. They blocked my way up the stairs so I told them to stand aside and went up. The girl had mentioned Gorn chasing her around and shouting at her so I figured he was the one taking care of her. It seems he was not. The Commander had given her the uniform. They were all to cheery so I did nay want to spoil their mood. I just got up and left.
It was only later that I found out about Dimman and Cove. Odd. Having fun dipping in the water when something like this had transpired.
Maybe I am indeed getting old. And I cannot begin to understand why I am so...grumpy is not the right word. My mood change started when I killed all these orcs a while back. Rage. Uncontrolable. Since then feelings like hatred and revenge have been swelling up in me. Praying at His temple has not helped me as I was told it would. I am at loss. I do not know what to do to stop this. I am trying to focus on my duty, call upon my training as a soldier. Block everything out. But it is near impossible.
Circumstances do not help at all either. After the Orcs an idiotic Baron could not stand a comment about his boots and his Churchman killing an unborn child of a person who I call a friend. Burning down his church is not enough. I was fine fighting a war against Trinsic. But fighting a war against Cove for the stupidity of two men? Fighting against an army of whom many members I respect? Because they are too thick to understand that they are protecting two fools? My grandfathers death. My journey home and back again. How can someone control his feelings with all this foolishness happening around him.
Kai is a blessed man after all.
I am too old to be taught new tricks. I cannot change the way I think or take my decisions. I have to focus on what is important. I have to put my personal feelings on the side for I shall be consumed by them. Praying at His Temple nay works. Maybe venting on some orcs or anything will help.
Noone else can help me but me now. They best not try to and leave me alone. They have other things to attend to. Recruits be pouring in. Wars to be planned. The Commander and the Captain are working fine together. More are taking initiative. It is easier for me now to conceal what is happening to me until I deal with it.
__________________ The bears shall live ferever! |