[The news as contained in this post you can take as IC knowledge. However any posts it links to are purely OOC information, unless you happen to have a good explanation why you would know about them IC.]
This budget edition of the ?Morning? Poste was almost brought to you tomorrow. Helen Hearsay is responsible for today?s verbal atrocity.
Yesterday it emerged that a band of fearsome warriors hailing from the scum-ridden lands of Vesper and Haven marched foolishly into our capital city of Britain. Breaking the mould from the usual bunch of jovial jesters that habitually inhabit the bank area, the intruders were soon singled out and battered senseless. Three cheers for our brave boys from Yew!
Neither the victors nor the fleeing Rebels were available for comment. The Loyalist lovelies appeared to be deep in celebration and ale, as they should. The Rebels were...well? revolting. Professional journalism is a wonderful thing, but ? dear readers - it should not come at the cost of my poor little nose. As it was I had to rub myself down with herbal essences (comes in a cream now!) and apply ludicrous amounts of cucumber to my eyes before I could safely say that I was civilised again.
Where was I? Ah yes, the battle. Particularly moody readers have been telling me I?m rubbish at telling the nitty-gritty of gruesome encounters, but it is a terrible thing, getting someone else to sit on the sidelines and write a vomit-covered report about the bludgeoning and battering that I hear goes on in such shenanigans. I?m sure, all things considered; you?d all love to look at my beautiful flowery language about shoes. Agree? Tell me so! Disagree? Shove off!
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Letters There are lots of letters printed in this edition. Unfortunately, most of them make up words. - H.H. ----------------------------------------------
Adverts Ransom Payment
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Lord Taggart, Grandmaster of the Knights Templar, has stated his willingness to pay for the
release of Luxe of Valoria. Fifty thousand gold coins shall be paid with all due haste, fearsome captors!
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Quote:
The Sosarian Trade Federation and Union announces the opening of The House of Rotten Grapes, a Tavern and Wine Cellar located in the village of New Paws.
The Trade Federation will be opening the doors of this recently acquired establishment on Saturday the 14th at 9:30 PM GMT.
Story telling, darts and a unique menu are featured this Opening Saturday. Story telling will be by the Druid Darius Sanctos. A dart throwing competition will also be held, with a small entry fee of 10 gold crowns. The winner will receive the prize money of 1,000 gold crowns.
All are welcome to stop in for good food, good drink, and good entertainment.
*signed*
- Eriala, Trade Representative of the Sosarian Trade Federation and Union.
A little map is enclosed with various annotations.
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Quote:
Announcing the Opening of the New Paws Rune Library!
The Village of New Paws, through the funding of the Sosarian Trade Federation, announces a new Rune Library has been established. Runes to various places throughout the realm now make their home in this small establishment on the coast of New Paws.
All are encouraged to make use of this new and growing resource.
Any and all donations are welcome, and to be placed in the small blue box inside the ground floor of the Rune Library.
*signed*
-Eriala, Trade Representative.
A small, easy-to-read map lies below the announcement, with a helpful red marker labelled, 'You aren't here' |
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Whats on? Saturday 14th, 9.30 - Opening of the House of Rotten Grapes.
Mondays and Fridays - Vanqa's Tavern open for business and general hilarity.