Kinu

Herenui's diary

15.07
The farmers were right, the Duke is a fair man, and even if i could not show any proof of my innocence, he welcomed me in Trinsic, at the condition that i don't leave the town, and gave me a chance to be a bit useful by cleaning the streets and gardens.
I've been given a bedroom at the Inn.
People here seem more peaceful and open minded. I hope i'll make some friends. I feel so lonely. In my cell since so long, i wasn't realising it anymore, but now that i've escaped and am walking among "normal" people, it's hurting me. I've constantly pain in the stomach. Pure stress. And appetite to have a life, finally...
As these days are certainly for me the most important of my life (after maybe the day i got comdemned to the oubliette for life, for a crime i've not done), i've decided to write them in a diary. Who knows, maybe i'll have the chance to get old and i'll be happy to read again how my life has been saved when i was 36...

17.07
Today i've been given a new mission by the Duke : i must inspect the buildings and infrastructures of Trinsic and write in a report if there are some reparations to be done. I can't believe that. Me, the fugitive, getting such a responsability... not to mention that i have no technical knowledge... i'll try to do my best and to compensate my ignorance with logic...

18.07
I really thought this day would never finish... Trinsic is so big. So much buildings to visit, so much streets to stride along... I even have visited the Island at the East gate. Half motivated by the endless inspection, but fully curious to finally have a look at this famous lighthouse about which everyone is speaking.
Well, the place is dangerous, i've been aggressed by some bandits, and if i had not the luck to find an abandoned rusty axe on the floor to defend myself, i don't know if i'd be there tonight to write these words.
But the reward was worth the danger : the lighthouse is indeed an impressive and harmonious building. And more than all, i've found an abandonned house. Well, i should say a fisher hut. Invaded by weed, it seems that no one has lived there since ages. As i was supposed to be here to inspect, i took a look inside : what a mess ! old bottles, crap everywhere on the floor... For furnitures a few crates and a broken bed... But i don't know what has happened in my head at this moment... i had a revelation : this damaged place, abandonned of everyone, could become mine ! For once in my life i could have a place just for me, a home... not a cell.
The Duke has been happy of my report, and i met sir Devante stirling, a pleasant man who will be in charge of the reparations. I took the chance to ask the Duke about the little hut on the beach, and he told me that i could make my home there if it makes me happy. And indeed, it makes me happy !
Of course it'll be a lot of work to make it clean again, but i'm motivated !

19.07
Life is sweet, i'm so happy here. I start to know a bit more who is who, and i've met some really engaging persons. Stewan is spoiling me with his wonderful cookies, i'll have to be careful if i don't want to look like a barrel. I've also met a very kind elf lady, she's working part time as guard and part time as landlady of the tavern in the elven village. I've never met any elf before in my life, and i must say that i'm fascinated. Thinking that this young and harmonious face belongs to someone who is twice old as me, or even more maybe, gives me the vertigo. I don't really know how to act with her and feel a bit clumsy, she's not a grandmother after all ! I should simply do as i feel, and i feel that i don't care about age, especially with such a pleasant person.
And i'm dying to be able to visit this elven village. If only i was not confined in town...


23.07
Being already an habit, i was this evening at the west gate of Trinsic, watching visitor coming and going, chating here and there. Then came some drows.
They were about to pass without a word when i welcomed them with a "good evening" and a smile, as i do with everyone. They looked surprised that someone greet them friendly. The one who seemed to be their leader, a lady named Fearyl, came to me and asked me if i would be interested to work for them, inviting me to follow her to her office.
I was first a bit reluctant because i didn't really want to work more than i already do. But then i was feeling on me the look of the guards, just as if the simple fact that a drow speaks to me marks me as a potential traitor. That has really upseted me.
I've been very fast aware of the almost schizophrenic situation of Trinsic concerning the drows : The town is "open" to everyone coming in peace... but if your skin is too dark or too white, or your eyes are red or whatever suits the mood of the guards, you need a permit to enter... and then, what's the point to "welcome" people when it's to accuse them constantly of the worse crimes and to throw them looks of hate each time you cross them ? I mean, maybe they are really bad, this ones, but first, that doesn't mean that every drows are bad by nature. There are so much bad humans, we are not precisely a model of goodness neither. And then, if this ones are so bad, why authorising them to come in town and then curse them every time they're in sight ? This can only lead to a sorry end, it's so obvious...
Of course, these drows didn't worth more than us citizen by their behavior, being so distant and disdainful. In this poor story, there's no bad ones and good ones, and it's not the point to find out who started the first to be unpleasant.
Then captain Kaelyn, feeling my hesitation, told me that i can do what i want, and that there's no problem if i have a little job during my private time.
I felt extremly grateful toward her. Not especially to help me to take a decision, i don't really need help for that. But much more to be so fair and open minded. What a relief to realise that the highest officer of the guards is such an intelligent and sensitive person ! I felt comforted in my right to be revolted by this stupid situation, and decided to follow the drows, because indeed it's on my free time and indeed if they are authorised to live and work here there's no reason to look shocked when they seek some employees in town. It's an hypocrisy.
I must admit that i felt a bit worried on the way, wondering what kind of job they will offer. Even me is not always rational, and i was starting to imagine that they want me to assassine the duke, or put some poison in the wells, or help them to smuggle some weapons to start a civil war... i was hating myself to be so silly. And when we arrived to their office and lady Faeryl told me that she was seeking someone to keep the place clean, i was really ashamed of me, and accepted immediatly the job.
I don't care about money, and i don't like to spend all my time to work, but i like to act in harmony with my ideals. I will treat everyone the same way, whatever the race, the sexe, the town or whatever differences which are only silly excuses for silly people to start wars.
But i'm not naive, and i keep my eyes open, these ones seem indeed not very clear, and cleaning their office daily is a good occasion to learn a bit more about them and their business. Things you will never find out by spiting on their face.

25.07
It seems that my destiny is linked to the drow people, these days... but this time in a more pleasant and peaceful way. Tonight at the bridge, came a young drow girl. I could not tell her age, as they certainly don't grow exactly the same rythm than humans, but i won't be wrong by saying that she's a teenager. She was standing outside, watching people going and coming. She seemed both curious and timorous. I greeted her with a smile. Feeling encouraged, she came to the bridge next to me. Then she started to watch the moat with such an intensity that i could not resist to ask her what she was watching like that. "Fish", she answered. Well, i took a look at the moat under us and to be honest i saw nothing but muddy water. It's at this moment, looking at her, that i realised that this little one was suffering of psychologic troubles. Something in her eyes, a fixed stare... As the evening was quiet, we spent long minuts in silence, side by side, watching the "fish" in the water... at one moment i remembered the rest of sandwish i had in my pocket and gave it to Taliayne (it's her name, isn't it beautiful ?). "Thank you" she said, and started to feed the fish which i was not seeing with the bread. From time to time people were passing on the bridge and i was feeling on our neck their suspicious look. What the hell a human is dealing with such devil, in front of everyone ?
We are feeding some imaginary fish in the moat, and we are happy.

28.07
A big surprise today... i was alone on the bridge, bent over the parapet, trying to finally make out these damn fishes, when the Duke arrived... I don't know if it was the vison of the bridge only guarded by a civilian woman lost in the contemplation of the moat which decided him, but he suddenly was anouncing me that, in regard of my good behavior, i could, if i wish, join the guards as recruit...
Mixed emotions in my heart at this moment. I felt of course happy and honored by such trust from him. The Duke is a person i deeply respect. Not for his title, not for his power, but because he's a good and fair man, and i trust him.
But i also didn't feel at ease. Being guard in a town means to put people in jail, jail from which i come and in which i was supposed to spend my whole life, even if innocent.
Being guard also means to punish people, to ban them...
Worse, being guard means that you're not free anymore to decide what is right and what is wrong, you must obey. Obey everyone "above" you in a stupid hierarchy which is, by definion and as every hierarchy, rewarding the ones who follow the rules, not their own way. In my opinion, The hierarchy is a machine to format the minds, as to climb you have to adopt and follow the norm, and not being interested in climbing is at best seen as a weak nature, at worst as a treason. The hierachy is also the worse ennemy of the communication and the comprehension between beings. As inferior you are supposed to bow, and as superior you are supposed to make bowing. Finally everyone is slave of this sytem, even the leader. And more degrees in the hierarchy, more lack of communication between the "base" and the "top". When a natural relation of equality between people would encourage everyone to speak openly and without fear, allowing the informations to travel fast and without too much alterations, a rigide hierachy in opposite tend to stop the movement of the datas at each level, leading to a situation where the highest responsibles are totally cut of the reality of the population they administrate. Of course it's not always true, and some wise leaders, as i think our Duke is, are still able to use their own eyes and don't depend entirely on their subordinates to comprehend a situation.
Being guard means that earlier or later you will start to see in every civilian a criminal, abandoning your own judgment for a more radical and automatic behavior, more comfortable for the mind, even if built on incorrect certainties. I've already noticed this behavior in many guards. not all of them, happilly, but enough to worry me.
The population regulary suffers of arbitrary humiliations, unjustified arrests, rudeness and agressivity. I feel that some don't trust anymore the guards to protect them, they fear them now, and see in them another scourge, like the flood or the famine. I've seen some people absolutely peaceful turning into agitators just by frustration, after too much harassment from some guard in a bad mood. As if everyone, in a secret agreement, was comforting themselves in this caricatural situation to not have anymore the painful task to choose among subtle nuances of freedom their own desteny.
Finally, the guard subconsciously generates his own criminals by fear to lose the sens of his mission. That's the way he indeed loses it.

But being guard also means to serve the population, to protect the weak against the strong, the innocent against the agressive, to be polite and helpful with everyone in need. To inform the lost traveler, to welcome the visitors. To contribute by a noble, wise and fair behavior to maintain peace and harmony between the populations.

Once again i find myself in front of a dilemma, and this time there's no captain Kaelyn to help me with her wisdom. The Duke is awaiting an answer and he's not known to be patient...

Yes, i'll be a guard. Maybe can i contribute to improve a little bit the relations between the guards and the population by having a pleasant behavior... if everyone was being a bit more nice, i'm sure the situation would become fast better. One has to start. At least i'll try, it's better than to do nothing... no ?

30.07
Today,Gwen and me managed to obtain from captain Kaelyn a permit for Taliayne the little drow. Once again the paradoxe of Trinsic : while the rudest and vulgar humans come and go freely every nights in town, drinking like barbarians, vomiting on the flowers, thinking that all what is feminine is destined to finish in their stinky bed... Taliayne, this innocent and peaceful person, so vulnerable, so sensitive, so pure, has to ask a permit... but maybe i've misunderstood and this system exists to protect the innocents from the monsters which are parked in town, after all...

(02.08
My situation as guard in Trinsic is already becoming complicated. I feel that some of the guards are starting to be upset of me. As some of them are officers and i don't hide what i think, and don't hesitate to refuse to fight when i judge that the situation could be solved by diplomacy and calm instead of hysteria and blood, add to that their phantasms about my "friendship" with the drows... i feel that the problems will come soon for me.
Once again the captain was here to clean my bad mood and bring a bit of hope in my heart : after the poor and repetitive provocations from some kaldorian soldiers, i see my captain installing a frame and a stool in the grass at the entrance of Trinsic, and starting to paint... That was for me the perfect example of what should be a guard : the one who brings the peace back. When she finally finished to paint, i was astonished by the clarity and strenght of her message : the paint showed a Trinsic guardwoman and a Kaldorian warrior kissing each other...

03.04
This night my life has met a new turning point. Things will nevermore be as i was dreaming they could become. While we all are entangled in our pathetic little problems, a great danger is on us, and i fear that no one trusts me enough anymore to listen to me and not act in a silly suicidal way. What we have to face now is not a drunk soldier or a robber of chicken. This creature could exterminate us all if she decided so.
It was already late in the night and i could not sleep, my head was too full and i wasn't finding a way to empty it. I decided to take a bit of fresh air on the beach. I went outside and was walking in silence, to avoid to wake the brigands sleeping in their camp, a bit farther on the island. At this moment i saw it. It was taller that a human, grey, all grey, the clothes, the hair, the skin. Well, difficult to be sure by night without coming too close. But it's the feeling i had. all grey. I was not moving, just croutching there and waiting, more shivering of fear than of cold. What was she/he/it doing ? it seems she had a bag, and was taking a little animal on the sand. the animal was alive and was screaming. a rat maybe ? but how could she catch a rat without running ? at this moment i heard another scream, a human one this time : one of the brigands had seen the creature. almost immediatly, five of them were standing, weapon out, and they attacked all together. the creature did not move, did not show a sign of fear or alarm. When the brigands were close enough, she simply opened her arm, and they all stoped, like paralyzed. then they started to fight each other. It was an awful butchery. some other brigands came, and the same macabre joke strarted again : they were all killing each other, till one only stand, wounded. At this moment only the creature has deigned to move, came close to the survivor, who could not move, like hypnotized. she took him by the head, forcing his mouth to open, then she dropped something in it, and let him go. the poor one started to run, but after a few step, he got caught in violent convulsions, and a few horrible seconds later, he was lying on the sand, dead.
The creature turned around, and it's a miracle that she did not se me. I immediatly droped on the sand and tried to not move at all, hoping that she will not chose to move in my direction. She started to walk toward the bridge. At this hour happilly, there's no one around, and i was hoping that Iljian has not the same idea than me to go on the beach and was sleeping deep, very deep. I followed the creature, taking good care to stay as far as possible without losing her. She turned in direction of the south gate. Happilly. Who knows what massacre would have happened if she decided to lead to the west part... when she was out of town, i had to come a bit closer to be sure to not lose her, because of the trees and the relief. I was firmly willing to follow her till where she lives. this creature must be destroyed before she destroy us all... who can stop her ? and how ?
I thought to have to lose her when she was approching the moongate of Trinsic... if she enters in it, how to find out to which place she would chose to teleport ?
Happily, she went not the the moongate, but walked toward the west. Damn, the elven village now ! But the place was quiet, no one suffering of insomnia to start a absolutly certain massacre... we crossed the village quietly, then reached the river. At this moment, the creature, by a magical jump, crossed the river and continued to the jungle. I lost a bit of time to cross the river myself by more traditional and less spectacular ways (happilly i was not wearing my armor). When i reached the other side, i really thought one moment to have lost her. But then i perceived her form a bit farther on my left, and could continue to tail her. I don't know how long we walked like that in the jungle, i was so busy trying to not be noisy and to not lose her that i lost the perception of the time. But finally, the creature arrived to a little glade, with a house which seemed abandonned in its center. The monster entered in what i supposed was her lair. I could obviously go frurther without dying. I already have had much more than my share of luck, it was time to think. Well, if really she lives here, she will certainly stay there a bit. What can i do now ? trying to return to Trinsic ? What for ? Asking for help ? Ringing the bell ? And then ? First, i would certainly never find again this place, i had no idea where i was. And then even if we would find it, and even if we would be an army... what would happen at this moment ? Would we all start to kill each other while the creature enjoys the show, waiting for the last survivor to poison him ? No, if we want to destroy such being, we must first learn as much as we can about her, and fast, before she comes again in town, and this time commit an hecatomb...
I decided to wait, sitting behind a tree, at the edge of the glare. Oh, it did not take very long, maybe an half hour, before i see her coming out and walk toward the forest. When i was sure that she was out of sight, i took all the courage i could find into me, and started to sneak toward the entrance of the ruin. it was a small house, and it did not take long, even in the dark, to realise that there was absolutely nothing to see there... just a few empty rooms... So why did she come here ? Ah, there we are... this looks like the door of the cellar... Hmm, i wonder if i'll be able to see something in this dark... but well, no choice, let's try... The door opened on stairs, and curiously, some light, a kind of strange green light, was glowing from below. When i arrived in the cave, i discovered th most uncredible room i've ever since in my life... everywhere some alchemist instruments. in a corner, a bowl big as a head was the source of the light. Magery, no doubt. in the opposite corner, a pile of cages, all empty... where were the little animals the creature had caught in her bag, on the beach ? maybe already dead, i thought. who knows by what kind of experimentation. On the big grey table, i found some little bottles, exactly the one that the creature used on the beach to poison the last brigand... i decided to take a few ones. There was a big book opened too, but really too big to be taken, and i didn't want that the creature realise too fast that something has disappeard, or she could run after me and then...
I must give me some time. Take things which the disparition won't be too fast noticed. The bookshelf : i inspect quickly the title : some are in a language i don't understand, i finally took the three written in Britannian. A last look around... well, who knows when she comes back hoem... and there's just one exit here... Time to escape... i climb the stairs and close silently the door of the cellar. At this moment a sound behind me !
Slowly, i turn around... nothing... i'm so afraid... i don't want to finish like the man on the beach ! Don't panic, silly you, stay quiet, walk silently to the entrance of the house.
I'm out now... again a sound ! i turn my head in its direction, to catch sight of an animal running away... a fox or something like that... pffff, i'v never been so afraid...
i run to the cover of the trees, and went into the forest, as deep as i could, as far as i could, whatever the direction, but far... the three books against my breast and the little bottles in my pockets... Flee...
I don't know how i could manage to run in almost the right direction, maybe simply by luck... but when the sun rose, it found me not far from the river, and following first her song, then her flow, it was not long until i reach the elven village. I decided to avoid it and to reach the south gate as discretly as possible. it's still the early morning, the town is still calm, and i can reach my little hut without meeting ayone.
After hiding my treasure in a box, i decide to return on the beach. There, no track of the tragedy which happened this night... some other brigands have certainly clean the place...
I return home and lie down on the bed, willing to study as fast as possible these books and understand what this creature is doing... And i fall immediatly asleep.
When i awake, the sun is already high in the sky. happilly no one has noticed my absence. well i've not cleaned the office of the drows, but they won't die for that, it always so clean...
I must read these books now...

04.08
Today everything was like in a dream, like if it was not really me there, living that, but a spectator of my own life... too shocked maybe by what i think i have understood...
I believe that i know what the creature wants. she wants to leave this world. and for that she needs a special potion. If i'm right, it's in a way a good news, because her intention is not to kill us all, i think she doesn't really care for our paltry lives. But the problem is that the manufacturing process of this product seem extremly complicated, and any small error is fatal. that why she came last night on the beach, it's full of rats there, easy to catch because easy to see on the sand. i still don't know how she can paralize/hypnotize them but i will certainly never learn that in one of these books. She's testing her product on animals. When will she start on humans ? ok, she already did it with the brigand, but it was not planned, more like a joke for her... When will she start to use humans instead of rats ? how many of us will she need before she finds the right mixture ? I must find a way to destroy her... but i have no idea how... it's not written in these books... i need another source of knowledge, i need to know how to defeat such creature of the death. I won't learn that in Trinsic neither. Their palladins tricks are maybe enough against a poor squeleton or a stinky zombie, but certainly not against that... the only source of knowledge where i could have a chance to find something useful, it's the drows. they are specialists in dark arts and necromancy, they certainly have some books about this kind of creature. I must reach their books. And fast. Of course i'm not naive and i won't tell them openly what is happening. They are so full of themselves that they would certainly want to capture the creature, to control her, or whatever suits their megalomany... and then they would simply start a new massacre... i must find a way...
It's again at the bridge, in the evening, that the opportunity came. Faeryl asked me to follow her to the office. To speak about my work, she said... I don't believe one second that she's interested in the way i clean these rooms, but it's not important, i need her, and for that i'll take my chance, even if the game is dangerous.
indeed, when we were at the office, she started to try to manipulate me, telling that i was now part of theor community, i was one of their servant, and as such, i had to wear the mark of the spider queen. All what you want my dear, as long as it gives me a chance to discover where is your library...
of course, as if things were not complicated enough, half of Trinsic had followed me there, to spy what i was dealing with the devils... bah, i don't care, i've no time to care anymore... draw your spider, little drow, and draw your gossips, little people, all that has absolutely no importance. The only thing which counts now is to kill the creature before she kills us all...
I could not manage a lot this evening with the drows, and it seems that it was my last chance, as a bit later, they had the brilliant idea to murder a traveller, becoming immediatly wanted for murder, crime, treason etc etc... what a f...ing day...
Now, the other guards are berating me, calling me is the best case naive, and in the worse case a betrayer. One by one, they try to explain to me how silly or evil i am... well, go to hell, all that has no importance.
Happilly, i've been saved by the son of the Duke, Isidore, a very intelligent young man who immediatly understood that all this would lead nowhere. he asked me to escort him, and when we arrived in what could be his office, we ahd a very interesting and open discussion. At least there's a hope that things get better in Trinsic, with such an ope minded and intelligent young man. I was feeling so well with him that i was really close to tell him about the creature... but finally, i decided that i could not take the risk... maybe later, we will see how the things turn and what i can learn about the creature...

05.08
Last night, i've not slept, i was waiting for the creature on the beach, hidden in a barrel... what a night... my poor back... but she did not come. Well, not here, in every case...
Tonight i've been one more time exhausted by an officer. One time too much for my tortured nerves. I've been suspended. Bah, i don't care. I just have one thing in mind : how to kill the creature...

06.08
Tonight the Duke and me had a talk... well, the Duke had a talk, he was in a very bad mood, we were constantly disturbed, so i could not really say anything... anyway, he told me about my oath, told me that i failed to save a child from the drows... that i was a danger for the peace of Trinsic to finally pronounced the word treason...
I'm not angry, i'm just sad, what a waste. I really had a lot of affection for him. If only i could have reached him, under the tons of responsabilities and problems he's carrying on his shoulders...
There's just one thing to do now : kill the creature...

07.08
I'm confined to my hut. Waiting for the Duke's decision. Will he once again support me ? I doubt that. He has not all elements in hand, and the appearances are indeed against me. Again...
I'm quite sure that he won't setence me to death. He's a good man.
Emprisonned ? never more, i prefer to die.
Banned ? To return to a fugitive life ? To leave the people who have been so good to me, who could have perhaps becomed my friends one day ? The only persons with whom i've been happy in this pathetic life ? And finally to let them alone facing this terrible threat of which they have no idea ?
There's henceforth just one way left for me : i must fight the creature. There's no time to lose. They have found dead animals in Trinsic, poisonned in a way which is making no doubt about the author of these deaths... she's not even bringing them anymore to her laboratory, which means she's not far from the result, and will certainly want to experiment on humans soon...
I don't know much how to defeat her, i've lost the drows, the humans and elves have no knowledge about this. Only a shaman now could help me. But where could i find one ? And there's no time left...
Anyway i'm not stupid enough to fight her in her lair. It will be here, on my territory. I'll try to find her and lure her to the hut this night when she'll come for new victims. For now, it's time to prepare, and to use the few things i could learn about her...
I don't know when the guards will come to take me to the Duke, but they will find me victorious or dead, certainly by this awful poison... unless she has even worse ways to kill...