Angst

September 363

The departure of Miguen
But hope can only stay a glowing fire indefinitely without fuel. After that magic spring day in 362 the seasons came and went – spring passed to summer, then autumn and winter, and a new year – then a second spring came and passed, summer was ending but there was no further news from VanQa. I neer quite gave up hope but by then hope was an ember kept alive only by a smouldering love.

Then in august I was in The Trinsic Rose one Monday eve as usual. Gwen had just returned from Eska’eldalie and had for the first time met VanQa. She leaned across the bar and quietly told me I should go and visit her. I asked if all was well with her. With no forewarning, Gwen gave me the stunning news that Miguen had left her – permanently! At first I was shocked and grieved for VanQa, but slowly I realised what this might mean and hope kindled in me that this would be the turning point for her. And I even began to nurture a small spark of hope that with both of us free our relationship might change…

I arranged with Gwen to meet me at Aldenkoi, that ancient elven tree from where she would lead me to the secret elven city. I arrived at Aldenkoi early, nervous and excited, waiting there for Gwen, peering into the west from where she should appear. Then I heard a soft footfall behind me, and there stood VanQa! We embraced tenderly. Then I took the potion of forgetfulness to last the rest of the way and, taking my hand, she led me to Eska’eldalie.

We talked alone together, sometimes holding hands. In bliss, I made clear my love for her and said that any time she wanted to return to Sosaria she should let me know. She said - more than once - that she would not return to the Elven Quarter. I understood and stressed that my home in Silverleaf would always be there for her. Behind the magic veils of that elven village by the sea, my home would also be her home if she so wished and I would be honoured and blessed.

But I did not press her for an answer, she so recently abandoned by her life-mate and still not fully free of her fears. And what did she feel for me other than as a close friend? An hour flew by and soon it was time for me to go. I found myself back at Aldenkoi and taking leave of VanQa, I kissed her lips in tender farewell, and she allowed it.

Since then I have walked on air. Yet I dare not hope. She needs time still, and while I am approaching the age of 40, she stays her young and lovely self - the eternal dilemma of elf and human relationships. Yet though I count the passing years I have learned both patience and an acceptance of fate. What will be will be, and I will be content with the blessings I have.