Captain's log
9th day of the 9th month
So as I trudged into Stonekeep I noticed a distinct lack of movement and while it was technically my day off I decided to try and spark something resembling activity in the garrison.
I didn't really have any ideas. The countryside seemed safe, external threats have lessened and I was in no mood to drill the men and women on something mundane and uninteresting.
I was also partially drunk, after all it was my day off.
I gave everybody a list of options detailing things we could do. Most of them involved booze, pie and violence.
I decided we would all go in search of 'Battle Creatures'. Everybody went off to find one, I stumbled across a Pack Llama at the stables which I borrowed. Now. I know from my experiences with Llamas that they're incredibly dangerous animals. I decided since it was a 'Pack Llama' that it was half-tame. I'm not sure how one goes about taming a llama, being that they are crazed beasts who lust after death and destruction. However, I led my newly acquired 'Battle Llama' back to Stonekeep.
Ragnar Broketusk was Aldridge's pet, with Boba
(Walker's) Pecker
(Wilkes'), Spot
(Tripps') and a dead harpy
(Tenne's) making up the rest of the order.
Aldridge placed a ridiculously sized bet on Ragnar, which inevitably failed as Battle Llama and Boba ripped through the competition. However, when the two faced off there could be only one winner. Boba snapping Battle Llama's neck in two like a pathetic, insignificant tree twig.
Battle Llama had failed as all guardian spawn inevitably does and I enjoyed watching Boba brutalise him in such a humiliating fashion.
I can't remember much after that. All I know is it involved random outbursts and alcohol.
Hmm..
Last Man Standing tonight... wonder who will win. Probably someone either excessively short or fat.
- Dart