Ye Morning Poste

Caden’s At It Again…

Yes! The man was to be the one oogling the MOST at all the young ladies the other day that passed through Stonekeep. He had a visit from some Covians last week, too. They were returning a ‘Golden Gorget’, that belonged to one of their beloved soldiers a long, long time ago.

Swaggers Inn Holds Lunatics!

Ladies laugh at Hats
The Militia of Vesper and their Baron have recently brought in a new rule. This rule is that all women MUST wear hats on Sundays. Vesper barmaids and a few various others were caught holding a protest against this new rule. Their definition of ‘protesting’ consisted of stripping to the bare minimum and burning several said hats.

All the women were fined 3000 doubloons.

Strip Sleaze
Vesper barmaids travel to Yew for a stripping session in attempts to raise gold for themselves and the Inn. Names such as Rebecca and Dalla rose in conversation when the topic was discussed. They have been said to have given one of the Yew Militia a lap dance as a grand finale, too!

Back from the dead?
The well-known criminal, Kiran, who also resided at the Swaggers Inn, was sentenced to death last week. They held an exceedingly long trial, followed shortly by Kiran being blasted into tiny pieces in front of a fair amount of people. One of the barmaids was spied feeding chunks of the Bar Manager to her pet bear.

Here is where it all gets a bit fishy: Only a day or two after this event, Kiran showed up back at the Swaggers Inn in cross-dress and without a scratch upon his old and wrinkly body. As a result of Kiran supposedly re-appearing, the Swaggers Inn is suffering from continuous raids, and many barmaids are risking their jobs to keep their beloved manloving manager.

A new set of Criminals

A villain supposedly called the “Crimson Braider” has been traumatizing poor citizens of Cove, Yew and Vesper! There are apparently other villains involved in these hideous crimes such as mugging, assault, rape and even murder! Which Militia shall be the one to sort to these crimes quickest? The Covian Army, the Guardsmen Militia or the Vesperians? Maybe even the Duchy of Trinsic or EVEN the Army of Kaldor?


Rumours

Bar Manager of the Swaggers Inn’s return is said to be that of a voodoo! Who will buy drinks there with a voodoo manager? We shall see, eh?

Rebecca, ALSO of the Swaggers Inn has been ‘chucked’ by her beloved Locke. Neither shall discuss the reasons of why it has happened, but we can only assume it is because they both get around more than a little too much.

Word has it that the Davion’s are inbred! Evidence of this matter is being churned as you eat your supper, folks.
The beautiful Amara is apparently reeling in cash again, men! She has so much of it nowadays that it can be seen poking out of her strappy sandals! Get flocking, men! She’s a good one.

Madsen has been whoring again, ladies and gents’! Yes yes yes. He has been caught with the Cove Corporals, the Swaggers Staff, the Drows and EVEN his own trainee women. Shame on him. A wanted poster is currently being produced, which has a sketch of him in the nude on it. One more strike and he gets a burning, so we hear!

Oh. And as per usual, the Dragoon Sergeant of Cove is being a man lover. The Baron also considers promoting him to the honored rank of Captain yet again.

Escaflowne loses his bear hat. What shall we ever do now?!

The Tremeres of Naeloth are a bunch of vampires, say the public.


Letters

Got anything to say about anyone, good OR bad? Any requests of an individual or the public in general?

Send us a letter or a note! All requests shall be considered thoroughly.


Adverts

Soon to be opened: Cove’s lovely Jessica Hawkin’s finest goods! Travel to Cove to find out more.


What’s on?

For thoze who don't know me, I am Arnolfo Zothobby, the Auctioneer.
Governor mizter Riyadh allowed me to hozt an auction in Cove, zo think of and prepare things you have for zale.
Thiz will be a regular auction, with gold given to the zeller of the item.

If you have itemz for sale, put them in a box, add a book with zmall dezcription of each item and hand it to mizter Qom, or me, if you will meet me (which iz pretty unlikely).

Auction rulez, entrance fee and other thingz will be pozted zoon.

Ztay tuned!

*signed with uncommonly italic writing*
Arnolfo Zothobby, Auctioneer.

The Green Goblin is open for business! Drinks are a good price. Get your rear ends down there and give Teagan Trix a good time.

Soon to be held – Another strip contest in Stonekeep! Except this time it shall be the MEN getting their kits off! Get down there, ladies!