Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayaleith  In silence I was reading this and it gave me some thoughts, and the question "What is my song?"
If it could be the one of the little moments that had happened in my life, the ones when I was being torn apart, hated, and lonely, to the moments when I felt like I had the friends who understood me. Yet they didn't and turned their backs against me. How many tears I have shed in my life, only because I was hated? Or was it not hate but envy? I do not know.
For once I'm glad that I'm studying at a place where I enjoy to be. It is different to that one and half year when I was trying to do somethign that I shouldn't have. I can't say it was wasted time, otherwise I wouldn't have played WoW and meet you in there too.
I can't write more. I have no words now. I feel like crying as I remember the pain I had long ago. Once I hoped to face it without tears but I can't. It hurts me too much...
Thank you, Kris, for your post as it made me think about my song as well. It needs a lot of courage to write these words in here... |
*smiles at Raya*
You are welcome, but just know that seeing these honest and open responses for me is like some awesome reward
and unexpected. So thank you also.
You know, Raya, writing this came out of a lot of personal pain, over something that hit me so hard last week. I felt maybe not hated..but unwanted, unneeded, discarded, when before I had felt only the opposite. It was sort of like being hit by an emotional truck, no way to prepare for that at all.
But for what its worth, in my experience, often the situation is far, far more complicated than what we think it is. It is rarely as simple as hate, or envy that people feel for us; in most cases emotions are so mixed and complicated that even the person who has them doesn't know what they are.
It takes a lot of honesty with yourself, and time, and a general willingness to be open, to listen, and to hurt, to sometimes know how you feel about anything. For some people, that is a price easily paid. For others..its very, very difficult.
Once you stop looking into yourself, and into the eyes of people around you, you start to see that very rarely is that hate directed at you - but more often at themselves. That the doubt you feel, most people feel. The insecurity and fear, we all have, in some way, over different things.
And when you know that..well the pain doesn't always go away, but it becomes a bit easier to bear.
Anyway, thank you again for reading this, and like the others, sharing a bit of yourself in the process