Captain's log 17th day of the 9th month
Absolutely knackered, I've just gotten in from making sure the Last Man Standing went ahead after a day ferrying children around to various places.
Nothing very exciting happened at the Last Man. Caden D'Gar won because everyone else seems to pride themselves on being idiots who wouldn't know a strategic plan if it came up and flanked them in the arse.
Got home and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Practically passed out on the bed nearly crushing Tanya, only to be awoken by Annie crawling into bed at what must have been only a few minutes later. After that point I was too conscious of the rest of the clan following suit that I couldn't settle. So here I am, writing a stupid entry in this never-ending journal.
- Dart ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Captain's log 18th day of the 9th month
So... last night was interesting.
I managed to publicly upset Tanya, which then caused her to make a big scene. Storming out, then returning and buying stupidly prized drinks on my tab.
I'm not even sure if I
have a tab, so I'm not quite up on who paid for her drinks.
Anyway - Apparently me making a subtle joke about Vesperian whores during a discussion about ladies of the night didn't go down particularly well.
Seems Tanya has a very long-term memory and remembers a certain incident with Louisa and a Vesperian wench. I mean... I'd forgotten all about it.
I'm glad she reminded me though, heh... oh yes... very glad.
Tonight Walsh is holding some of sort of
'Military Maneuvers' drill.
Guess I should really be there for that.
- Dart ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Captain's log 19th day of the 9th month
So Walsh was unavoidably detained. Instead of attempting to run her drill in her absence I noticed the Citadel was as dirty as a horny Markie.
Now, being a champion of innovation I decided I'd have the men display their creativity and also their engineering skills by cleaning the Citadel's exterior walls.
After picking work-teams Madsen shot Wilkes
(already crippled for some reason) in the leg. There seemed to be a bit of confusion as to how to tend to his wounds. So I dealt with him rather effectively.
Then we got on to working.
The cleaning methods were rather pathetic as all the teams seemed to neglect the task of actually cleaning the Citadel and preferred instead to tarnish each other's efforts.
Idiots.
Tearheart and Madsen ended up practically shagging on the grass, which was perhaps the most disturbing thing I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing.
Seems someone has it in for my horses, as Lily came by and began feeding Ferran cookies.
I took her home so as to minimise damage but I think that's the last we've seen of Ferran, poor nag.
- Dart ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Captain's log 20th day of the 9th month
So last night after rescuing a patrol at the Humility Shrine who stumbled across a walking golden corpse I ran... well...
something.
The fools couldn't grasp what kind of pie was my favourite. Well they could, it's apple, obviously. However, I didn't want them to get the answer quite so easily so I pretended it was the fictional
'Moon Pie'.
Yes, Meat, Onion, Oranges and Noodles.
Whatever
'Noodles' and
'Oranges' are.
As they didn't know how a good pie was made, I decided we would bake a pie and teach them the correct method of pie-making.
The pie was filled with numerous disgusting ingredients, including cheese, wine and broken glass. There was garlic as well as meat but that wasn't quite as bad as the prospect of Cordelia putting her Radek-tainted hands into the bowl.
Managed to upset Tanya after she was knocked down the stairs by an idiot Wiley, woke her up by uh... well.. saying something inappropriate.
So now I'm in the doghouse, as usual.
As everyone should know - mix is only... mixed when the... mix is under the mixer's nails. Derwyn wasn't the best mixer in existence but she eventually did the job.
Had the men compete for who got to eat the pie first, by using the tried and tested dressing-up fighting... thing.
Anyway - Seems the women switched the pies with an Apple pie. I know. The nerve!
Put them all in a cell, that'll teach them.
- Dart