10-12-07, 11:39 PM
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#20 (permalink)
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| Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Vesper
Posts: 369
My Mood:  | Monday 10. December
Even though, I knew the risk - I continued to ignore it.
And now I pay the price. I lost Hedlyn, because I cheated on him.
In the past, when I came clean - Heddy didn't make a fuss about it.
That my first mistake - Thinking, that he didn't get hurt as it was just 'sex'.
I can't look at him, without my eyes begins to burn and I really struggle not to burst into tears. Gawd, I hate myself so much - That the hate I have against the Yewians, are like water compaired to how much I hate myself.
There are so many things, I wanna say to him.. But I don't know how to start.
How come the words easily goes down on my papers?
But they are so hard to say?
I知 sorry
I'm sorry for all the times, I made you cry
I知 sorry for every single lie
Sorry I couldn稚 make you smile
Sorry I didn稚 make you stay a while
Sorry it was nothing more than sex
I知 sorry I have to call you my ex
I知 sorry, I broke your heart
I知 sorry, that I tore you apart
I知 sorry we can稚 get along
I知 sorry, I cry to every song
I知 sorry I hide when you come around
I hang my head, eyes always on the ground
Sorry I never meant it so much
Sorry you are my Man, I love to touch
I知 sorry for all the pain I've caused
I知 sorry for all the broken trust
I知 sorry I pushed you away
I知 sorry I don稚 deserve you in any way
I知 sorry cause I belive, we are meant to be
And I知 sorry if you hurt just like me.
... So easy on paper.
We opend the doors to the Tavern in Yew.
Things went alright, considering we didn't advertise for it.
Van, Jake and Tom stopped by and a hanfull of Covians.
I spoke with the Covian tonight - But I'm in doubt.
She claimed, the Covians wanted to keep neutral terms, if the Guards from Yew decide to attack the Swaggers, for suporting the Yewish Rebellion.
Apparently in some way the Covians sympatise with the Rebels..
But Cove earlier had some Alliance with Vesper and then they turned
theire backs on us when we needed them the most..
I'm gonna speak with Esca, hear what he thinks about it and so on.
Heddy and Declan left early and I just finished up cleaning Declans wounds.
Apparently he jumped the Lord Protector - and his mount.
Maaaan, not the wisest move - But He'll survive the bruises and cuts..
Thank Gawd, Heddy returned without any injuries..
More later, really not in the mood to scribble..
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