Bladius Dart

Captain's log

8th day of the 2nd month

So Young utterly brutalised Margera in the final of the Boxing Tournament after shocking Tripps and slapping Eagle-eye around in the first round.
The Rebellion rudely interrupted the tournament before it even had a chance to begin when Annwyn stumbled up to the roof and announced that some deer poachers were south west of the Keep.
Of course we investigated, killed one and the others fled, so we returned to more important matters, such as watching the men beat the tar out of each other.

The Besiegers were in fine, honourable form as usual in the fifth place play-off where after Lumbard finished off Eagle-eye he joined in and helped Fraser gang-beat Floria.


I have to say I think they all looked really fetching in their ring-wear and it certainly seemed to even the competition up, even if it made things drag out a little longer that I'd hoped, straining my announcing and commentary to unnatural limits. There are only so many superlatives you can use for the most mundane of fights before you start to consider murdering the two combatants.

Anyway, I think I hear someone at the door.

- Dart


Captain's log

9th day of the 2nd month

Ahh.. guilt.


- Dart


Captain's log

10th day of the 2nd month

I know they say children grow up faster these days but I still think four and a half is too young to be considering having babies. As long as she maintains the belief that she can grow infants from seeds in a plant pot I think I'll avoid giving her a talking to.


I have the great pleasure of hosting the Champions Tournament tonight. I should really make sure all the equipment I ordered has arrived. Don't want to be running around like a numpty five minutes prior to the event with nothing to equip everybody in.

- Dart


Captain's log

11th day of the 2nd month

Can't rely on anybody these days, least of all the supposed favourites to win a Champions Tournament.
If we'd had to sell tickets to the final of yesterday evening's tournament I'm not sure how well Kain Raslo versus Buck Baines would have sold.
It'd be different for sure but not something that'll set Sosaria alight.

Either way Baines surprisingly beat Raslo two-nil only to have House D'Gar demand a different champion, with Lord D'Gar stepping in, giving Baines a kicking and taking the title for himself.

You can't make this stuff up! Next we'll be throwing a few metal chairs in and having fireworks go off when the combatants enter the arena.


Tanya seemingly had suspicions regarding Lou and in a sudden unexpected burst of uncontrollable 'honesty' I told her that Lou had conned me into having an affair with her and it was all her fault the mean, nasty child-stealer.

Tanya visited her later and apparently told her to keep her hands off her husband, then left.
Now things are all hunky-dory again, which is cause for celebration in my book.
Of course this state of hunky-doryness will likely last only a few more hours until something even more ridiculously dramatic occurs. Such as discovering I'm pregnant or growing a third penis out of my left nostril.

- Dart


Captain's log

12th day of the 2nd month

I'm not one for public bathing and I'm even less willing to go for a soak in the middle of Stonekeep after yesterday evening.
Whatever the hell caused the water we were soaking our feet in to turn every unsavoury colour you can think of I don't want to speculate too much upon, however there were things swimming about in there that I'd prefer not to share my bathing time with.


Wilkes is going to baby-sit the children soon we've agreed. If Wilkes survives the encounter he may well end up being a successful parent.
Of course the chances of him surviving are very much dependent upon the whims of Lily, Francis, Annie and Ben.
I wouldn't want to place my life in the hands of those four. I'll happily place Radek's in them though.

- Dart


Captain's log

13th day of the 2nd month

I think the lads need a little training in public relations, especially the older ones. Helmgard seems to think that the way to break news of a fellow's death to his widow is by hanging her before she has a chance to complain about our handling of the situation.

We found Percy the Farmer face down in the dirt whilst scouring the bowels of Despise. He might even have been breathing prior to Longshot dropping a pile of rocks on him, which Kevin claimed to be an earth elemental.
Poor bastard.


D'Gar had us running about pretending to be members of two savage tribes.
I was lumbered with being Shaman of the Raven Tribe, a role that would see me try to enlighten and instruct High Chief Aiden. While great and wise, a Shaman is not a miracle worker.
However, we did construct a totem in honour of our glorious raven spirit, befitting his supposed great fertility.

Despite Raven Tribe's peaceful nature (read: distinct lack of decent tribal warriors) we triumphed over Llama Tribe, this was not through martial prowess though, more our cunning use of wit and ingenuity.

I now have a much greater challenge to undertake.
I must find a way to provide a perfect Valentine's Day for Tanya, whilst sneaking out to ensure Louisa is also satisfied without ending up naked and in serious breach of my marriage vows.
Then again, I haven't seen Lou since Tanya spoke to her, so I'm not sure where the hell I'm stood. Maybe I'll just pay a quick visit there tomorrow in the morning whilst 'working' to ensure that everything's swell. Or I could listen to common sense and avoid her like the plague.

Why do I bother? We all know that I'll end up there regardless.

- Dart


Captain's log

14th day of the 2nd month

You'd think by now that nothing could really surprise me. I've heard of many seemingly preposterous occurrences but no more so than the Celtic rebellion actively recruiting at Trinsic West Gate.
Apparently Irvyn has once again displayed his distinct lack of testicular fortitude and has signed Trinsic over to yet another foreign occupational force.
From Trinsic the rebels are attempting to recruit more men to their ever so noble cause; gutting and mutilating as many teenage Trainees as they can without having to face someone with any combat experience.
I can't understand what possible reason Trinsic have for allying themselves with yet another anti-loyalist organisation and whilst I'm aware that many Trinsicans have a penchant for odd sexual encounters, mutton penetration is surely stooping too low even for them.


I did have the opportunity to smash my shield over a rebel's cranium though, which is always satisfying after a long day.
Anyway - today is Valentine's day and I need to sneak out for a spot of 'work'.

- Dart

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