Vierna

Glances at the yellow orb and says nothing.

What is it with those you capture or trick into your confidence? Take my little Jhelomite contact, the one I seduced, the one who puts reputation before all else. So far the information has been next to useless. Being friendly did not have the desired effect, nor did the threat of exposure seem to over concern her. See what being nice does? So I hauled her in again, time to up the stakes.

And here is the rub. Still she claimed to know nothing??now comes the pain. Why do these humans and other races put up with it? Why suffer so much pain when all they have to do is tell me what I want to know in the first place? I have never failed to break a captive yet, so why suffer pain when they know they will tell me eventually? Humans especially hate pain, yet they will suffer pain for a bit then break?..they always do. Far better to tell me what I want to know before the pain starts, save yourselves a lot of agony. *laughs*

More followers join me and this is good, but as numbers grow, so increases the chances of an attack from within. This is always the danger. As I continue to be successful, the temptation for one inside the group to overthrow me and seize the glory increases. I can live with that, I have to. Faeryl watches my back like a hawk. *grins* Oh I know why dear sister, you need me more than anyone else. For the moment that is good to know. As long as my interests suit her interests, she will do all she can to protect me. A few others around are for the moment totally loyal, so meantime I am fairly secure but that can change suddenly. I never drop my guard!

These sudden black outs continue. Although only momentarily, they are becoming increasingly difficult to hide. Only SD knows for sure. I need her strength, her support. She will not betray me. I am sure Faeryl has noticed, so too has G. The question is how will they react? Only time will tell. Now my sleep on occasions is being disturbed. Nothing I cannot handle but a concern just the same. It is just a dream?.surrounded by a blackness I cannot penetrate. And the rasping whispers?..

Vierna?..Vierna?. come to me?..come to me?

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

I look up at the yellow orb and say nothing.

It has been an up and down period for me lately. Some things go well. Others do not but, overall progress is still being made.

Firstly I found out exactly what the mercenary and Faeryl have been up to. Seems they have come up with some outlandish scheme to raise and bind a demon from the Demonspawn Pits. Now I know exactly what was contained in the scroll that Faeryl has been studying. Oh so altruistic of them, to raise such a demon in an effort to find out what is effecting me. Fools. They think because I do not specialise in arcane, that I do not understand the consequences! *sneers* They do not have the power to control it and the last thing I want is an extremely powerful demon, the likes of which this land has never seen before, roaming about unbound. I instantly forbade it. The mercenary took umbrage and I have not seen him since. Enjoy your time in the Nine Hells mercenary!

As for my sister, I soundly beat her and forbade her to continue. She claimed my welfare was her only motivation, maybe so, but the risk is far too great. I will not allow it. Whatever it is that is effecting me, I will sort?..I always have. In the end it is elamshin ?..Lloth?s Will.

*laughs* My sister was later arrested for allegedly carrying contraband. Well the Trinsic guards have been trying to pin something on Faeryl ever since they found out the connection between her and me. It is all a ploy to get at me and it will not work. Using her wits she managed to escape after a night in the cells. But why she captured one of the guards and brought him home I will never know. Still it may have worked in my favour. Using that guard and his friend I gave them evidence of Moiraine?s duplicity. Seeds of doubt?but then again, none so blind as those who see but do not look.

My mother came back with information on my new follower S. Now she knows exactly where she stands. The choice is clear cut. She shows total loyalty to me and my house and she and her house are amply rewarded. Getting her house up the ladder and on to the ruling council is a massive carrot. On the other hand, if she fails me her house will know longer exist. Not a hard choice is it?

Something amusing. A young human female approaches me and asks if I would be interested in purchasing a slave. *laughs* Why? Well you are a drow she says. How typically na?ve. I am Vierna Hun?ett, second daughter to House Hun?ett. I do not buy anything?I just take. In any case it turns out the slave was no more than a female child. Not much older than that brat niece of the Kaldorian commander. Not interested! I care not, but sadly for the girl she will end up in the hands of Kalannar and Moiraine?s family. One of their upstanding members will take her in and ruin her. That is how low they have become.

I had a long discussion with LL. She has now chosen a path which she is happy with. This can only be good for both of us. Like SD, I need them both strong. I need their ambition to burn. Sure it makes me more vulnerable from within but that comes with the territory. I will not fail my mother. I will not fail Lloth. I will not fail ME!!!!!!!!

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

I gaze up at the yellow orb and smirk.

With the capture and torture of Jaraxle Von?Sah a line can be drawn under this episode. True the female Maylene has still to be dealt with, but it no longer needs to be regarded as immediate. In time she will suffer the consequences of her actions. In fact the longer she delays the inevitable, the worse it becomes for her. So with yet another Vhaerun worshipper marked with the sign of the Dark Mother, the family of Kalannar Von?Sah lies broken and impotent. I, with Lloth?s aid, have triumphed! They may attempt reprisals but it will be futile. The power of Lloth has no boundaries.

That leaves the fragrant Baroness to be dealt with. Her lies, deceit and corruption will eventually be exposed and the last irritation will be removed. Already plans are in motion to bring about her downfall?it will be spectacular!

Now I can move on and establish the surface power base that my mother craves. I will do this on several fronts, including legitimate trade. To these ends I have made contact and agreement with a small but interesting group in Jhelom. After several discussions it became clear that their interests are similar to mine, so there is no conflict. Together we can achieve both our ambitions by mutual understanding. Another advantage is our enemies are the same, so we can aid each other when the occasion arises. I anticipate a long and fruitful partnership.

Another two drifters have joined us. Two sisters. Although half breeds, I can see the potential they have. They will have their uses. Indeed one of the sisters is so young that I have charged Faeryl to instruct her in the ways of the dark. Her faith in Lloth will be made strong and her devotion unquestionable.

Only one thing concerns me, how long can I keep this affliction which torments me hidden? Feryl and SD are fully aware of what is wrong?.nobody else. The question is, how long can I keep it hidden from others?especially my enemies???

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

I gaze up at the yellow orb and say nothing.

How long can I hide this? It is getting worse. *curses* It is now affecting how I function. *sighs deeply* This is not like me at all. For the first time in my life I am having doubts?.I am making mistakes. Why am I being dragged down? Am I no longer in Lloth?s favour? Has she deserted me? If so why?

As is their will, Lloth and my mothers, I have established a power base. I can now open a trade route between the Underdark and the surface. Property has been legitimately secured for these purposes. I have smashed the aberration that is Von?Sah. And I have found and re-opened the Temple to Lloth. These achievements please my mother, they please the divine Spider Queen?.and yet?..

I sense a change in me. Why am I accepting some human values? Have I been on the surface too long or is this also part of the illness which affects me? I say illness but that is not what it is. Something deep down in the Abyss wants me. Something powerful and hideous is trying to pull me down. It is only my strength of will that is stopping it?..so far. But how long can I keep this up. Is the Dark Mother aware of this? Or does she no longer care?

Sleep. Ah the tiredness, this is not right. The dream?.the blackness. A blackness no Drow can know, even total darkness is unknown to me. Why can I not see? And the voice?..calling from the deep?calling me to endless sleep??Vierna?.Vierna, come to me?.you will be mine now?.nothing can save you?..

I have drawn SD and LL closer to me. Closer than a Drow should. So close that I have made myself vulnerable if they chose to strike. Is it just loyalty that holds them back? Or do they still see me too strong even in times of weakness? And Faeryl? I have pushed her from me. I have pushed away the one who needs me the most because I forbade her to try to save me. Are these errors of judgement? I must fight this with all my strength and guile. I must push the doubts away and become the Vierna Hun?ett I know I am. I must no longer be seen as soft!

Lloth I pray to you?do not let weakness be my epitaph. But I fear tomorrow, I fear I am dying. You once, when I stood before you, returned me to my quest. You said there was still much to do?..Dark Mother give me the strength to carry on??..

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

I look up, but the yellow orb is not to be seen.

Vierna?..you are losing it. This blackness that is disturbing me is affecting me more and more. I must fight it?I must prevail. SD is right. Faeryl is priestess. It is her duty to do what I have forbidden. And if it all goes wrong then no one is to blame?..it will be Lloth?s will.

That I almost committed my followers to an alliance that made no sense is indicative of the state of my mind. I am allowing myself to be influenced in ways that should not be happening. Oh dear Lloth?.where have I failed you? Who is it from the Abyss that torments me? Dark Mother why have you fallen silent?

And as I sleep, the blackness surrounds me. Even after an evening of unequalled joy, I still cannot rest in peaceful slumber?..the voice comes back?..Vierna?.Vierna?..come to me?..you will be mine??.forever?..forever Vierna.

I have never feared any living thing. I do not fear pain?..I do not even fear death its self. Yet this unknown torment I do fear. For the first time in my life I fear something?I fear the unknown. If this gets out, I am doomed. My mother will not tolerate weakness and yes this is a weakness. I know this now. If I let Faeryl do what she must, is that also a weakness? Why can I not make the right decision? Why is self doubt creeping into aspects of my life? I have never doubted my myself, I know I am strong. I know I am someone to be feared by all those around me. I must fight this torment, this doubt, this weakness! Both SD and LL have told me to become strong again, they cannot help me in this, I must do it by myself. I must become the feared Vierna Hun?ett once more!

And yet this blackness, this calling to me, this vulnerability??.

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*Does not bother to look up at the sky*

*sighs* I have not been active enough. This condition is wearing me down from the inside, but I must fight it. I had a long conversation with LL, it helped strengthen my resolve. In her way, she too counselled that I should allow Faeryl to raise a demon. As she said?.it is only a question of time. She will do it with or without my blessing. But on the other hand if I now give her permission, that shows weakness on my part. I made my decision?to change it shows an element of doubt. And that would send out the wrong signals. No. I will not change my decision, but then nor will I actively stop Faeryl in what she is attempting to do. *chuckles* To everyones eyes Faeryl, you have defied me!

*Picks up a recent edition of the Poste, reads and laughs uproariously*

Oh dear Lloth Moiraine, you have excelled yourself this time. *laughs again* The death penalty! Branding! Oh this is wonderful stuff. That Pretty Polly has actually obtained a scoop worth printing. *shakes head* I never knew you had it in you. So Moiraine, fragrant Baroness of the City of Honour. Again your lies, your deceit and your hypocrisy has been exposed. "I don?t believe in torture, we never torture anyone"?..that is your war cry Moiraine! Tell me half breed, what is branding if it is not torture? *laughs some more* Ah keep trying Moiraine?.keep trying to act the drow?.but it will not work. You are not a drow, never will be. You are not human, never will be. You are a nothing!

*Puts down the Poste, wiping tears of mirth from my cheeks*

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*Ignores the yellow orb which sits high in the sky*

What tangled web you again spin Divine Mother. Here I have more growing strength in my organisation with the arrival of a Selvetarm champion, two sisters on the run from a disastrous house war and another from my own House. And yet I am feeling a lessening of my personal resolve. The momentary black-outs and the tormenting sleep are taking its toll. I now feel physically drained at times and it takes all my will to keep going. I have done well to hide the momentary lapses, but how can I hide the more obvious physical strains? I have to rise above it!!

It is still calling me from the deep??..louder and more persistent now.
It is still summoning me to endless sleep?..I can sense its touch, its essence.
It is still trying to drag me down??how much longer can I fight it?
If you are going to defy me Faeryl and it is Lloth?s will??.do it Faeryl?.do it soon?.

*Stares ahead, deep into the distance?..snaps out of it*
New and important information has come my way. Mother wants to know who built Lloth?s Temple on this land. Who was here before us. Certainly it was not the despicable Von?Sah, so it was another House. I had heard mention of another house which is no longer around. LL talked of such one night. Her life and memories on this surface stretch way way back. That sparked off a long discussion. Her memories are cloudy but she did tell me of one who would know more. One who also has a long history on this land. LL arranged a meet and I came face to face with one who could help me enormously???*smiles for the first time in a long while*


I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*looks up at the descending yellow orb and smirks*

Some things progress and some things stay the same.

Sabrae came to see me. Seems the half breed went fishing to try and find out what I was up to. *laughs* Poor Moiraine. Did you think Sabrae would fall for your lies and deceit again? No Sabrae knows better than that. She told you some of her future plans and if you cared to listen properly, then you will know why she is with me now. Sabrae knows I can deliver what you cannot. She knows she has a House to go back to?.she knows she has a true family?.she knows she has a name?.and it is not Von?Sah! She also knows something else neither Moiraine nor Kalannar can do, and that is to return freely to the Underdark. Yes Sabrae wants to go home, and she will. Because I can make it so!

I had my second meeting with the mysterious Lady. As yes. This one needs to be treated carefully. Knowing her background, related by LL, and from what she told me herself, I can fully appreciate why she fears me. I had hoped she could help me trace the Drow who built Lloth?s Temple on this surface land. But the House she gave me, from what they did to her, clearly it was not them. The Jhaeldrin are not the answer I seek?just another bunch of outcasts, renegades and thugs it would seem. A House that claimed the Drow gods had no power on the surface. *laughs* How wrong they were. Where are they now? Gone?.they cease to exist. Why? Who knows the real reason but my assessment would be that they died on the rack of inertia. Aimless and ambitionless that is why they are gone. That would seem to be the truth of it. The Lady did give me a name. I passed it on to my mother. If this one is still alive, he will pay dearly for his crimes. I owe the Lady that much if she helps me.

So I outlined how she could help me and asked her if she would. She said she would consider it once she has seen the documents I possess. That is fair. This I will do and leave it for her to make the decision. I cannot and will not force my will on this Lady. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, she has to do it freely otherwise the impact is diluted. Secondly, I sense the bond between her and LL is extremely strong. To repay LL?s loyalty, this Lady will not be harmed by me or any of my followers. I sense she can aid me in other areas in anycase. One word from LL or the Lady and I will bring her under my protection.

We parted on good terms and although she appeared to have come to this meeting alone, I sensed she was being watched. She hinted at that during our conversation. Your are a smart Lady?I am not offended...I compliment you on your caution. I said we would meet again soon and as she left, she gave me a name of someone else who might help me trace the past. This one I have met once or twice before.

*rubs temple absently* Ah the darkness descends on me. *rubs fingers across my eyes* I need rest. *sighs* Here I go again. The battle of wills with my tormentor begins anew. If I do not rest, it cannot touch me, but I need my rest???

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*I look up at the yellow orb and laugh*

And still they come.

Despite my battle against this unseen foe, despite the lack of rest I desperately seek, my following continues to grow. The Drow on the surface know who is the strongest now and so they come to me. They come to me because I can deliver what no others can. I can bring them home!

This is something Von?Sah could never do. Why? Because they cannot go home safely themselves. Talk to a Von?Sah ask it why it prefers the surface to their true home and the reply is always the same. The surface is my home now, it is a better place than the Underdark. *laughs* What pathetic rubbish! No. I need no longer act directly against them. They are fading in the same way as the Jhaeldrin before them. Inertia. That is what finished them. Inertia. The same thing that effects the Kaldorians. An invading army now content to be on vacation.

Now conspicuous in their absence, Von?Sah hide behind the skirts of Trinsic. No longer able to even issue meaningless threats, they get a puppet Duke to do their bidding and harass my followers. This is nothing new. They tried the same tactic against the Jhaeldrin?..running to the city?..help! Proctect me! Nasty Drow are chasing me! *laughs loudly* But Trinsic was stronger then, it had strong and dependable allies then. Does the fabled "Trinsic Alliance" still hold true? *chuckles* Time will tell.

*sighs* I spend much time at the temple. It is the only place where I can find a semblance of rest. When I sleep there, the torment is just about bearable. Why do you delay Faeryl? Has your ambition now increased that you feel strong enough to overthrow me? No Faeryl, you still need me. You need me because Maya is still in our way. So Faeryl, defy me and raise your demon. Help me end this torment and I will rid you of Maya.

And LL. Despite her own doubts. Despite her own torments, she has been my rock. How can I repay you? With your help and that of L and my soulmate SD, I will survive. This thing will never drag me down!!!

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*grunts up at the yellow orb, high in the sky*

Interesting. Will I ever fully understand the workings of the human mind? Seems this fabled "Trinsic Alliance" sort of exists after all. But knowing that it does poses more questions than answers..

Firstly, there had been the strange occurrence of various elemental monsters pouring from a crater in the centre of the city. This attracted all sorts of mercenaries and glory seekers to the cities defence. Poor fools. Most never stood a chance. Still it was amusing to watch humans die in a futile cause. This is where I and my race had the advantage. Elementals are not unknown below ground, in fact that is where they come from. But they cannot exist too long. Unless they can feed from the bodies of those which they destroy, they eventually crumble and die. So they are best avoided, that way you defeat them. It took the humans a while to realise this. Now the city is clear.

It is the second occurrence that bemused me more. The zealots of Yew decided to mount an attack on Trinsic. It made me smile to hear their leader call the town the City of Dishonour. This is something I have been calling it ever since I came to the surface. I have watched various factions from the sidelines, accessing strengths and weaknesses. The ongoing Rebel versus Loyalist war has given me ample opportunities to do this. By far the Yewians are the strongest single group. At first I thought that this was an escalation of the Loyalist/Rebel war, since it is now common knowledge that the Duke has been financing the Rebels for some time. He has also been supporting the Rebels in other ways. Funny that, him being a Duke, you would think he was on the side of the absentee king. But no. He supports the Rebels whilst appearing neutral.

There is no doubt Trinsic is weak. It can barely raise enough strength from within its own walls to defend its self, so it relies on help from other areas. It is this support that totally bemuses me.

Always first is Kaldor. The army of an alien power which claims to be the rightful rulers of the land it has invaded. But what does it do? It sits on its hands in complete inertia until Trinsic cries help. Now any real leader with ambition would seize the opportunity and grab the town for itself. But what does Kaldor do? Sheds blood for a people it has sworn to take over! *shakes head*

Next the archer army. In the ongoing Rebel/Loyalist war they were staunch allies of the people of Yew and sworn enemies of Kaldor whom they see as a rebel force. They were also suspicious of Trinsic?s motives and the fact that Trinsic and Kaldor are allied. Yet as soon as Yew made a move against the Duke, what does the archermen do? *shakes head in complete bemusement* Their leader, Devante changes sides! Suddenly Kaldor and the archers are friends, suddenly the Duke and the archers are friends, suddenly Devante and Klion are enemies! It is totally illogical.

Then there are all the brigand and riff raff gangs. The ones the Duke reckons he does not want around. Suddenly all is forgiven and they rally to defend his city. And the brigands? Oh yes dear Duke, despite all the grief you have caused us in the past putting paid to our criminality, we will come to your aid! *laughs* What utter stupidity. What utter senselessness. There they all go shedding blood for a city that despises them. *laughs* And the rulers of the city? The Duke and the fragrant Baroness? No where to be seen. What fools you all are!

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*Gazes at the lowering yellow orb and makes an obscene gesture*

This new war is stupid and pointless, Lloth only knows what purpose it serves.

Still it allowed me to participate in a piece of mischief. *grins* I have Klion?s lands under surveillance almost constantly, it pays to know what the strongest faction is up to. Faeryl reported to me that the Yewians had a Trinsic paladin as prisoner. So I had him watched. Over the course he was moved several times, the Yewians obviously felt that some sort of rescue would be attempted. And so it proved. And they all failed. I pondered over the consequences of freeing him myself??yes why not. *chuckles* I therefore authorised Faeryl to do it, but only if she was certain of not been seen.

As it turned out, just before Faeryl made her attempt, some rag tag brigand outfit made a botched attempt. Why they wanted the paladin, who knows. Most likely for coin. Anyway, the ensuing skirmish and confusion gave Faeryl the ideal opportunity which she seized with complete success! *laughs* Having watched various groups try and fail, here one small and slender female triumphs !!!

Faeryl brought the paladin to me and after I and LL patched him up and had a talk with him, we escorted him back to Trinsic. Sure I considered selling him but what use is coin to me, this suited my interests better. The expressions on the Duchy guards faces was a picture. *laughs* That alone made it all worthwhile. Maybe now that weak Duke will realise, it is not him or his guards I am after.

My search for the Drow who built the temple continues. I had a meeting with the female leader of the Kaldorians. Kaldor it seems once had a pact with some Drow groups. She did give me some names which may prove useful, but she admitted her memory is no longer what it was. So on the face of it, although it would seem I am no further forward, I do have some clues to work on.

*sighs* And still through all this, the relentless torment continues.

I met the Lady again. With her connection with LL, I took a severe risk. I confided my problem to her. Knowing that something similar happened to her in the past, I hope she can help me. She said she knew someone who may help and she resolved to find and consult her. *sighs very deeply* This may be the beginning of the end. One slight indiscretion from the Lady?.and I am finished! But I must find an alternative to my sisters method?that way spells doom too!

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*Gazes upwards and sees nothing but blackness*

I could not wait any longer.

The Lady has not got back to me and Faeryl is now too close. I have sat here at the entrance to the Abyss and now I can delay no longer. It is over tendays now. No doubt my absence has been registered. No doubt my enemies feel a sense of relief. *laughs bitterly*

No. I have sat here, planning, praying and summoning the courage to do what I must do. I can take this torment no more. I am tired. I need to rest. But I never will until I confront my torment face to face. This is what I must do. *sighs heavily, resigned*

This will be my third time in the Abyss. By far the most dangerous. Twice before I have been there, but that was my astral body. And as long as my physical body was safe, then there was always a chance of survival. This time I enter physically. This time my chances are virtually non existent. But it must be done. And if I survive, if I win, how much stronger will I be? Or will I be but a shell of myself? I give myself to Lloth?s will.

Will the group be in safe hands while I am away? *laughs* LL, SD and L. They will protect my interests. That I am sure. Faeryl and Malafae? *sneers* I see a power struggle between them, but they will not get the support of my three most trusted allies. If the others, especially Sabrae, are wise, they will stay out of it. Let Faeryl and Malafae kill themselves. *laughs humourlessly*

*cries out in agony* Foolish Vierna! Why did I do it! Why did I have to seek her out!

Just when I gained all the courage I needed, I cracked! Me, Vierna, the uncaring self centred bitch! *lets out almost a sob* I cracked to an emotion I barely understand, an emotion I refuse to accept exists. I went back to find SD. To tell her Aluve?. I needed one last embrace before I left. Oh stupid weak Vierna!

And SD refused to leave me. She insisted that we go together. I should have embraced her, then killed her. That way she would be spared the dangers and agonies that must be faced. But I could not. I am weak. Emotion has destroyed cold hard thought.

It is time. Hand in hand, SD and I stepped into the void????

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*I gaze upwards and see nothing but an empty void*

And so we entered the Abyss. A mass of contradictions. Cold but at the same time hot. Arid but at the same time wet. It is not how I remember it.

This is my third time in the Abyss. Twice before I have been here. But on those occasions it was my astral body that travelled here. I had a specific destination, pulled there once by Lloth herself and once by the thing I seek now. Lloth sent me back safely. I never got to see the thing that torments me. By good fortune and Lloth?s benevolence, Faeryl pulled my astral body from the brink just in time. This time I am here physically and nor am I alone.

Now that we are here, I realise the shear folly of entering. How we are to return is the least of our worries, since where we entered no longer exists. What surrounds us, at first looked like a vast plane of emptiness, but as our eyes adjusted to the extreme darkness, details began to emerge. Had I not been holding SD?s hand, I would have sworn I was alone. But gradually, as my eyes adjusted, the beautiful and brave drow that is my soulmate slowly, which I can only describe as solidified, appeared at my side. I looked into her eyes and for the first time I saw fear in them. If she sought reassurance in mine, then I had failed her for I felt the same fear.

We drew our piwafwi tightly around us as we tried to take in our surroundings. Tried to make sense of it all. I looked around. In every direction, the plane on which we stood stretched out infinitely, flat and completely featureless. Then other details emerged. Scattered intermittently in every direction stood portals. Not the blue or red portals seen frequently on the surface, but vast black doors. We stood looking around for how long I could not measure. Time just seems not to exist here. I looked once again into SD?s eyes and for the first time ever in my life, I said sorry.

More time passed. Was it seconds or was it days, I have no idea. Then we noticed vast numbers of ethereal bodies floating all around us, passing through us as if we did not exist. Only the firm fearful grip I had of SD?s hand assured me that we did. These spirits seemed drawn to the black doors. Many seemed to float around aimlessly searching for a particular door. Then it dawned on me what was happening. These ethereal bodies were in fact the souls of the dead. They floated around searching for the correct door, the one that took them to their deity. There they would appear before it to be either doomed for all eternity or glorified as one of the chosen.

Where we go from here I have no idea. I came to confront what torments me, but the calling voice has gone. Whatever it is, lies beyond one of these countless portals. Oh the folly of what I have done! I look once again at SD, I feel a wetness in my eyes. A sensation I cannot comprehend. "Forgive me" I whisper, but she does not hear me, she is looking beyond me with wide fearful eyes???..

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*Overhead I see nothing but an empty void*

?????I turned to see what made SD so fearful. There not far in front of us was some hideous humanoid being. Tall, with grey seemingly transparent skin, it had no limbs to speak of. Just a body and a very large head of inproportionate size. This monster floated a few feet off the surface of the plane and as ethereal bodies past, it sucked them in! It sucked them in effortlessly through a large and gaping hole that passed for a mouth. As I looked closer at this spectacle, I could see ethereal faces inside the bodies of this monstrous being. Their faces profoundly contorted in extreme agony. The monster was a soulseeker!

Whether this thing would have had any interest in us, the living, I have no idea. Without a word we quickly moved away putting as much distance between us and it as possible. Our progress seemed both sluggish as if we where walking on thick cloying mud, yet at the same time felt as if we were travelling at tremendous speed. This plane was beyond comprehension, a paradox, where opposites occurred at the same time. Why oh why did I come here?

Once we felt we had put enough distance between us and the soulseeker, my thoughts once again turned to the doors. How could we possibly know which one to enter. The voice that called and tormented me in my sleep was no longer audible. It lay on the other side of one of these black doors. But which one?

I tentatively listened at the threshold of a few. But could hear nothing. I sensed nothing attempting to pull me through. After a while of fruitless search, I turned to SD with a helpless look on my face. The souls continued to float around us also searching till they found the right door to pass through. Now I began to comprehend the purpose of the doors. Each one represented a portal to a specific god or goddess and these souls of the dead sought out the door which would take them to whichever deity they worshipped. I turned to SD and explained my thoughts and she concurred. Yet this realisation posed yet another problem. Would a portal which drow souls entered take me any closer to my tormentor? Furthermore which door is for drow souls?

Then SD had an idea. In the end what she suggested was our only feasible option. We go through the portal that leads us to Lloth and accept the consequences of our actions. To find the right portal all we had to do was follow a drow soul.

We searched around looking more closer at the form of these ethereal beings. Soon we recognised one as drow and began to follow it. We followed this soul for what seemed like an eternity. It tested some doors but ignored others. It seemed odd that all the souls did not know exactly where to go. Perhaps this was some test. Perhaps many souls were destined never to meet their deity, that they were destined to remain in a place of limbo.

Suddenly without warning, the soul we were tracking entered a door it was approaching. Without a sound it disappeared. This was it! I turned to SD and raised my eyebrows. Without any expression on her face at all she just nodded in acquiescence. I offered her my hand and she took it. We walked towards the door and entered?????.

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________

Vierna

*Above me there is nothing but an empty void*

????..We approached the portal with some trepidation and made to enter. But something prevented us, we could not go in! Why was this? Another Drow soul floated above us and entered smoothly, why could we not? Was it because we were still living or was it because this portal did not lead to Lloth? SD and I pondered over this problem and resolved to track another Drow soul, one that would lead us to another door.

For what seemed like a lifetime and yet seemed like the blink of an eye we stood in front of another black portal through which Drow souls entered. Again we were rejected! On and on we searched and tracked. Two further portals rejected us. I began to feel despair. Were we now destined to spend the rest of our lives trapped on this plane, never to go anywhere? Eventually we came across another portal. This one accepted us. We passed over the threshold and stepped into??.nothing!

I lost contact with SD. All around was an empty blackness. Yet the sensation I felt was like falling down a great hole, tumbling over head over heels and spinning around at the same time. I felt I was travelling at a tremendous speed but at the same time incredibly slowly. Nor could I work out whether I moved upwards or down. I cried out for SD, but I could not hear the sound of my voice. If she heard me I did not hear any reply. I searched frantically with my eyes as I spun and tumbled but could see nothing, nothing but empty blackness!

Suddenly, without warning, I was being attacked by a horde of hideous beings. These things were not particularly large, but were multi-limbed, each with claws tipped with vicious talons. What looked like a head, appeared eyeless with a mouth filled with countless sharp pointed teeth. The whole body was covered in stinking matted fur. I reached for my sword and lashed out as best I could as I continued to free fall. Many vicious claws swung at me, slashing and piercing at every inch of my body. I should have been ripped to shreds, covered in mortal lacerations. But just as my sword was passing ineffectually through these monstrous beings, so too were their claws. The monsters had no substance, they were spectral! Then my mind exploded in a burning white light as excruciating pain pierced through my body. The claws may have been passing through me but I was feeling the touch of every hit. Mentally I was being slashed to death! I passed out??

???.I came to. I felt I was lying on cold damp flagstones. I could not move. My whole body was experiencing a pain so extreme, it is impossible to describe. With the pain so bad, I could not even scream. I tried to concentrate my mind, to focus my thoughts on my Melee-Magthere training in an attempt to blot out the pain, but it was no use. For a brief second, I opened my eyes. I saw just a short distance away, the great doors of the Divine Mothers temple. I had made it. But at what cost? Then through the agonies of my pain I felt something touch me, the very faintest of touches, but a touch just the same. My mind screamed in further agonies. Once more I passed out??..

I watch, I assess, I report.

Vel'drav l' sil'in qu'ellar d'Hun?ett zotrethen??Jal zhal sha-rasa!!!

Lloth tlu laoles, dosst handmaiden orn naut hojh dos!!!!

__________________