Thoughts of Mordred

[Mordred of Kaldor]

*mutters bitterly to himself while scrubbing hard*

Meh cleanin the latrines. I have never cleaned the blooming latrines in all of my military carrier. And for what. *grumbles*. For going to check if she was alright after we heard that Vesper had attacked Trinsic. It was a fair guess she would have been there. We were right ofcourse.

Bitter comments and meaningful looks in front of them loyalists. Even they had something to say. And now I'm scrubbing crap because I stood up for the rest and made her look bad.

I remember clearly telling her before we started the conversation in her office. "Commander, I want you to listen to what I have to say to you and nay merely pretend to listen.".

*looks at the shiny latrine*

Ofcourse I know now that she only pretended to listen again because I had turned my back on her and left with the other two Mauls in Trinsic. I must hand it to the Duchy though. They seem to be legendary in their skill to draw people to them when they are in need of them. The Commander. That traitor Hugo. I merely looked at him and a Guard was already slinging her bow. *Shakes his head slightly chuckling.* I have not forgotten the way we were treated when we were not needed. More like a necessary parasite living on their streets. But now? When they are to be at war with the North? Things are different now aren't they.

*scrubs another toilet clean*

We were talking amongst us not believing our ears with the Commanders' reaction to us checking up on her. Someone sneezed. A sneaky Duchy guard listening in to our conversation. A conversation that was very easily misunderstood and subjective. I cannot expect a Duchy guard to know or even begin to apprehend the Kaldorian way of thinking. He managed to get away and run off to his beloved city. We ventured southwards towards the keep. They had the nerve to show up at Strongholt with their spy and wanted to secretely inform the Commander of our conversation. They do not realise that Kaldorians have nothing to hide. There are no hidden agendas, nothing that we would say behind someones back that we would not immediately say right in someones face as was intended to happen next I saw the Commander. We are not like them. Hiding behind shadows, saying one thing to one person and something totally diferent to another. Lies they call politics. Or...Maybe they do know how we think and are doing their best to cause trouble for us. Nonetheless. Any spy in the Holt will be dealt with as well as any Trinsican. Enough.

*admires his handywork amazed at the amount of thinking he does while doing this.*

"I will not fight alongside the enemy", she said. The enemy? Captain Duo is the enemy? "If you nay fight alongside him then you nay fight alongside the men, alongside me." I was hoping to strike a sensitive nerve, get her thinking. "My faith in the army is shattered". She nay trusts her own men anymore. She feels safer with those Duchy. We all are sworn to follow the General. His orders are the orders we will follow above any Commander or Captain. I thought that if I got my orders from him directly there would not be another incident like the one that happened a few days ago. That would aid her,protect her. At least in my eyes. But no. For saying that I am a traitor and she cannot trust me anymore. Maybe I care too much...

*One more to go and this farse is over*

All of this should have finished at the meeting we had. It has for everyone else and we are prepared to follow any order given to us as we always were. But not for her. She is the only one that still cannot function properly. We went out gathering resources. As per our orders. She was praying to Raza and had her fortune told by some card readin charlatan. I shall wait and see her reactions and see if anything I told her has been considered at all by her. If not, and she chooses that she can handle things completely on her own then so be it. I will not try and aid or talk to her again. If she cannot trust me after everything we have been through together then I doubt she will trust any of the men either. I cannot see where she is going with this story.

*stands up and admires his handywork*

This was not so bad after all. All done. Time to go find the men and relax a bit. An ale would work wonders right now.

[Mordred of Kaldor]

*takes off his armour and places each piece carefully on its place grinning to himself and talking to it*

"We saw some real action tonight didn't we. Kaldorian steel versus Kaldorian Shield and armour."

*starts to polish it each piece*

Commander lead a training tonight. We trained in attacking and defending. Of course she did show her feelings for the three of us to start with. One team of three Mauls, myself Arinar and Gorn, the three amigos we have come to be known, facing another team of two mauls and a new Razan mage. The team selection was obvious. She would have hoped that they would have beat the crap out of us. And even gave us pink robes to fight in. *chuckles* At the time I thought of it as an outrage. We did what Captain Duo trained us to do in the hunt. We stuck close, locked our shields and took any beating that was given to us. Be that spells or steel. We focused at a single target everytime not stopping till it was down. We came out of the fights completely unharmed.

*tries to take the dents out of his shield*

Bah a smith must look at this...

Tonight though held a present surprise. The Commander.

*grins to himself as he sets down his axe*

I think she has returned. The strict and unyielding commander we once knew. It started with her having me clean the latrines. I know how she thinks. I was confirmed by her making us wear 'em pink robes in training and it was fulfilled when I saw her in a duelling ring mercylessly hacking at the mage she was duelling nay loosing a single duel.

It has been a long time since I last saw her duel. Raza was definately in her this day. I can see her rage inside her. I can see her trying to control it. The struggle between pure bloodrage and a head striving to remain calm. All it took was forcing her to focus her anger on someone. The Captain has nay been around these last few days so we were the escape goats. Mehself Gorn and Arinar. She has a special thing for me though fer obvious reasons.

Nevermind. I can take whatever she dishes out at me. I think that if I manage to make her focus her anger on us a bit and build it up...*grins*.. we will have our old Commander back.

And Gorn...Gorn Gorn. This night was the first time I saw him locking shields and staying put, keeping his friends up and hacking at the opposing team. I do hope he keeps it up. He realised hopefully that our strength lies in our cooperation. No mageling, no warrior, no archer can take a block of Mauls slowly advancing on them. I'm nay sure if it was the Commander promoting him to veteran, or if it is Raza, or if it is the trust some of us and the Captain have started to put in to him. Whatever it is. We have just gained another real Maul.

*finishes taking care of his armour and goes to bed uttering a few words before he sleeps*

[Mordred of Kaldor]

Trust, Respect. Ideas that do not apply for many in todays world.

We have to be fine with both parties till what is to be done is decided. So we visit both places. I got a report that Trinsics ban has been enforced which was quite a surprise. Given that only the previous night the guards had helped us ward off a bunch of goons jumping from the shadows and attacking our backs.

So I decided to go check it out myself. The ban had been enforced. But the problem were not the Duchy Guards. Not even the boys in blue that have showed up again. I'm glad about that. They did have some fighting skill if I remember correctly. Will be nice fighting against them. The problem were again the Marksmen. And in particular one. Genty. The lad has still not gotten over what his own behaviour earned him.

I managed to enter the city escorted by Victor and head towards the Bank. Victor is okay. He realises that this is nothing personal involved in all this. We are soldiers and we do as we are told. So I took something from my box and head towards the West Gate again. Genty was shooting out insults again and I could see the men were getting irritated and their temper was starting to build up. So I managed to direct his aggression towards me for I cannot have the Generals orders disobbeyed.

After a while Devante arrived and he called off his wee lad. We started to head away from the City but Genty had to say something again. I stopped dead in my tracks almost losing my temper so I went back and asked for a private word with Devante and Kaelyn. Devante the ever bitter man as of late wanted to show the rest that he has power or something and almost tried to refuse but I know he wanted to. So it happened and we sat in an office at the jail.

I just pointed out the obvious. That the last couple of days some of my men have been coming here and have behaved...extraordinarily well I must say.... Never provoking anyone or a fight. Instead they were being very badly provoked every single minute. So I requested this behaviour to stop. Then my bitter friend went on about how he nay trusts me specifically any more especially after what I did to the Commander. He also said that it has already been decided that we fight alongside Vesper. Where does he get the information of his...Whoever he is getting it from must be relieved of duty for doing a really crappy job. I explained to him that what happened to the Commander was not something any of us knew but for a very few who actually did it. As for Vesper, I have received no such orders. Maybe he thinks he knows more than I do. He does fail to realise the most important thing though. His words were "Duo has taken control of the army." I cannot figure out which is the hard part for them. There is only but one man that controls the army. And that is the General. Duo and Cal can order us around and we listen to them and act with no question. But if the General disagrees with something we have been told to do...his is the last word. So there is no question of loyalty and who is in control. All the men are loyal to Kaldor. Not to a single person.

I wanted to strike him right at that moment for the insult. But I remember promising Gwen that I would not fight with him and have him come home all grumpy. Kaelyn on the other hand was exactly the opposite. Seems her death..slash...ressurection has worked wonders with her temper. General always liked her. He was right in that I guess.

So being banned from Trinsic and us not having a tavern yet we headed to the Swaggers. We drunk a lot...of ale...had tons of laughs and were treated very nicely there by everyone. The surprise was Ikus going there and campaigning. Was a good laugh but nothing more. We quickly lost the little attention we offered him. Some of the older Vesperians drank with us and raised our bottle in unison. We were having fun in a way we never had with the guards. Only time I can even remember having a good laugh like that was with Devante. But sadly he has forgotten all about it.

If it is decided that we fight with Vesper then I will make sure the Marksmen and especially one...will be treated with extra care. I will take care of these two fingers he showed me. *chuckle* Archers do this only AFTER they are victorious in battle and run away. The wee lad gave me an idea I had not thought of before though. Bless the wee git.

[Mordred of Kaldor]

*Wakes up in an extraordinary good mood*

*Stretches*

Haven't slepped like that in ages! Beds 'ere at the Swaggers are good! Always good to wake up and be a few feet away from some grand ales fer breakfast. Maybeh a rib or two as well like them ones I had last night. Aye..

Maybeh ah'll just lie down a bit more though. Don't get that chance often. Ah meh poor legs. Gettin too old meh thinks. Them guardsmen sure like ter chase ya around. Was exciting though.

We were up in the Swaggers 'aving our drinks. Myself the Commander, Veg and Gorn. Them showed up demanding that the staff of the swaggers come down. Like any self respecting Kaldorian ah was terribly vexed when someone interferes with meh ale. So I went down to have a looksie. was amusing until ah heard one of em say we will rob the man, meaning Kiran, and we will do...well bad things to the women... Gorn's woman was also there.

Until that point we would not interfere but her being his wife well...We couldn't let them take her away. So us three Mauls blocked their exit. We would nay move. There must have been about seven of em...plus a Way watcher meh eye caught somewhere. We had no real chance but at least we could provide a formidable distraction so the Swaggers staff could run away.

Their leader meh thinks came up to meh and told meh "Move aside, I am D'gar". Answer came out pretty naturally..."Feck ah care?" Once that was said Veg charged them and we all started fighting. They did not know who they were facing it seems. Against all odds we continued fightin against them. I saw Calantha run away so it was mission accomplished. Dodging arrows,poisoned weapons eating on meh inards and cheap shots were wearing me down. Ah saw some Vesparians arive but they ejits where just sittin and watchin! It was not until Esca arrived that they joined in and saved meh hide. Everyone was fine but Kiran was missing. After a short intermission the militia was back again.

This time their numbers seemed increased. Althought they might not have been. The Vesparian forces engaged again but seems they were defeated leaving just myself and Gorn fighting like maniacs against their numbers. Eventually I got tired. My armour was getting heavier by the second. I had noone to box up with so my only solution was to always be on the move. So ah charged and faded and charged and faded. Well eventually they grouped up on meh and that was that. Last thing ah remember was a boot in meh face and Gorn runnin along with another six on his tail.

*chuckles*

Commander was there too fighting like a woman possesed. Well meh thinks she was last night anyway after seeing her fight get injured in her leg and after it was all over seeing how she jumped Kiran for playing a dirty game. Was good to see her like that again. She just proved to me at least that she has in no way grown soft or has forgotten how to fight and inflict massive damage. Raza was with her last night and that is a good omen fer the things to come.


All in all was a good workout although ah wish there were more mauls so we could do what we do best. Maybeh next time. Was too tired to walk home so ah just got a room here.

*looks around the room and notices a bow hanging on the wall*

Genty is dead it seems. Someone stabbed him and left his corpse at the Trinsic moongate. Ofcourse Dev nay missed the chance ter say we did it. Ah told him the truth. We could nayh care less about that wee brat but we nay did it. He was not convinced really. *shrugs* His problem nay mine. Meh hands are clean of this one.

Lets get up now and 'ope we get another grand day like last nights.

[Mordred of Kaldor]

Bitterness.

It's all I got from visiting the City of Trinsic fer the final time. A sour feeling on my mouth which I could not spit out. Tried to have fun with them while learning how to build barricades. After all the hard work and muscle I put into it to have the guards bring it down just like that because it was a threat to them. It's not as if we were not letting people go through.

This city and I are finished. People I once called friends see me as nothing more than a threat to them. Not completely unjustified but it goes to show that most people these days cannot distinguish between duty and personal matters. And especially that darned Captain of theirs for whom I have risked my own life numerous times.

Looking at the city and its men from the outside...They are trapped and live in their own small little world. A world that from now on I would crush if I was allowed to. The people there, places and memories, mean nothing anymore to me. Kaelyn, Devante, Iljian, and the rest of the crew. If it was in my hands the only one I would spare funnily enough would be Reann. She is the only one there that is straightforward and that does not pretend. I saw what happened to the rest of my so-called "friends"...

This city shall only see me again not as a friend, but as an invader if anything is ever decided.

The elves ofcourse are the only ones that I would care about as well. Gwen and her people where the first to always come to our defence when the Duchy went mental.

Vesper is a nice place. The people there are more like us. People who have to fight their way through life. One way or the other. Even the lasses at the Swaggers give their own fight every day.

*chuckles*

Least them know how to have fun! Ah will never forget that game we played. Hadn't laughed so much in a very long time. Gems each and every one of them. Ah'll do my best to make sure them beh alright from now on. And a funny feeling in that city. Feeling of being free. Maybe all their talks are not just propaganda.

*stretches on his bed as he looks out from the window in the room of the Swaggers*

Gorn is a changed man. Don't know what it is. Was it his marriage? Maybe he accomplished one need and moved on to the next? I don't know what it is but I'm impressed. The man is full of drive now. Full of initiative. He is working very hard with the recruits. Its as if he has made them his personal crusade. He trains them, has fun with them, and makes them better warriors. He has even improved also himself. He actually managed to knock me down once after six duels. This might not sound as much but that never happened before...I'll join him and help him in his training. Brush up my own fighting skills as well while training the new lads.

Echo, Kimo and Oldek. They will do great. Already they have shown great sign of improvement. I have no doubt they will do very well. They are young, willing and driven. And Gorn nay lets em sit down fer a single second! He does need help though so I will help him. Next week I'll help him organise a more advanced battle training for them. Kaldorian war games. I'm sure they will enjoy it.

*turns and looks at the empty space next to him*

Meh...That is another problem. I want to go to her a lot. But things are not going that well between us. I'll just wait it out and see what happens really. I will not decide what is best for her. It is her decision to make. But my chances anyway are slim.

*takes a drink from the ale bottle he had left next to him during the night*

Nay matter. She beh young. She will 'ave nay problem findin someone else if she decides she wants to. Meh...I'm a different story. Think meh love days beh behind me. Good thing I have the army. Best family a man could ask fer.

*winces as the first ray of light shines in through the window*

Well ol' timer! Saddle up and get to work! You got plannin and training to do! Time for thinking is up!

[Mordred of Kaldor]

Shield in one hand, sword in the other. Ahead a small group of orcs look at the human fool who has come alone. Beyond the small batch of orcs. a cave. One of the known dwellings of these foul creatures. Tension is thick. Feels as if you could slice it with a knife.

"Orcs! Bring me out the one who dared to injure my Maul and my Commander!"

The orcs looking at one another started laughin. That deep, mocking laugh.

I charged them. My sword sliced off the hand of the first orc I came by. My shield crushed anothers skull. Red,warm,thick liquid fell accross my face. I continued sweeping through them leaving them dead or injured. A bit of blood fell on my lips as I sliced the throat of another. Silence. Looking around I saw only one orc left. Its eyes were full of fear. No sign of the mocking attitude it had only a few minutes ago.

I approached it slowly, holding its terrified gaze. By the time I reached it I had put my sword away. My hand reached for its throat and I pushed it against a tree.

"Where is the orc...that dared to attack Kaldorians..."

It shook it's head. The creature stank badly. It looked young. Not much older than a 16 year old human lad ah gathered. The blood was still warm on my lips. My tongue ventured over my lips taking in the hot liquid.

"Tell me were he is!"

The young orc was to terrified to speak. I reached for my axe on my back and with no second thought buried it deep in its neck cutting clean through its collar bone. After a brief moment of spasming the body went limp and was tossed to the side.

Screams and roars could be heard from inside the cave.

"I shall find you orc. And you shall regret the day you dared oppose a Kaldorian. You and all your kin shall pay for your fullishness."

I entered the cave and held still till my eyes got accustomed to the dim light inside it. It was too late before I saw a scout in the shadows. He had run off and I could already hear the sound of numerous footsteps coming my way.

I am but one. But I am one of the best warriors of this land and of any land. Today you shall find out.

I fell on one knee seconds before they charged me. I promised the blood of those fallen today to Raza. As retribution for myself for letting one harm His priest. I could feel the Rage building inside me. A fire gripping my very soul. Such a comforting feeling knowing that...He...was with you. Making you, invincible.

A few hours later he exited the cave. His armour was not green anymore but red. Both encrusted and fresh blood drippin on his every step. In front of him was a single orc who he had spared.

"Orc. Raza spares you for now. Go find the rest of your kins hiding places and find the one who offended Kaldor and Raza. Tell him to deliver himself to us. If he does not I shall return searching your small camps. Once I am done with them I will gather more Mauls and come for your bigger camps. If I still do not find him ah shall gather the army and attack your forts. There is no place he can hide from me, Raza, or His wrath!"

The orc run for its life. Whether it will do as it was told is not important. Mordred just found an outlet for his Rage. He was idle for too long. Now he will perfect his skills on them, while at the same time redeeming himself for letting this happen. I shall become invincible.


I started walking in the forest. Found a nice tree to sit under. I could still feel His energy flowing through me. The feeling of tiredness that overtook me in previos smaller battles was simply not there. His Rage is very strong once you let it take over. But I should not let it consume me. I have been there before. I will have to control it. I need help. The help of the priest. I have to find her.

*Closes his eyes and tries to calm himself down. After a few minutes he feels tired*

I shall rest here first. Come morning I shall go look for her after I visit His temple.

*closes his eyes and enters a serene, deep sleep. His dreams were nice. Calming. He slept soundly this night. His actions did not trouble him. Nothing haunted him this night.*

[Mordred of Kaldor]

It was a close kept secret, his family. Having grown up with no father his grandfather was the closest thing he had. News of his death were quite a shock. Saying nothing to noone he gave himself a leave and left for his home. He was there just in time for his funeral.

People looked at the man that had left home many years ago. Seeking for adventure. For comradeship. Seeking people that had the same interests and beliefs he had as well.

It was quite plain that his return did not sit well with them. Noble paladin he once was. Fighting for those in need, fighting for honour. He left because he realised the extent of the corruption. Noone was innocent. He realised he was fighting for a lost cause. They would not accept it and hence he left.

He payed them no attention though. He looked upon the face of his grandfather. Peaceful, serene. A true man in his life, a man in his death as well.

He felt a soft touch on his shoulder. Turning around his eyes fell on the face of his mother. Her eyes wonderous seeing her young man return after more than 15 years away from home. No words were spoken.

Later on, at night, he was sitting on his grandfathers chair, gazing outside the window like he had done when he was alive. Endless hours would he sit and look outside upon his lands and his people. His mother walked in silently. He turned his gaze on her and gave her a brief but true smile.

He started telling her of all his adventures. Until he reached the point when his paths crossed with General Paladis about five years ago. Upon the mention of Kaldorians his mothers head fell down and she was staring at the tiled floor.

"I know mother. There is no need to hide anything from me anymore."
"So you know you are of Kaldorian blood."
"Yes mother. I realised it after a year I had been with them. These people are like me. And I am like them."

Abrief pause and then he continued.

"I am a sergeant now in the army. A Maul as you can see from the uniform. I follow the God of War Raza. I bring pride to my uniform and I will continue too till my last breath."

She looked up at him.

"I can explain to you everything. And I will also tell you our family name."

He interrupted her.

"There is no need to tell me what has been and why. And as for the last part.
I am Mordred, Maul Knight Sergeant of Kaldor. That is how ah ben known and that is how ah will remain."

"But"

"Who meh real name has me to be is not for certain who ah am. Ah beh Mordred and that is that."

"But you have to know your past. You have to know who you really are. Our family line goes all the way back t..."
"Silence! Ah will not have one more word out of yer mouth on this subject. This beh over! Have yer got anythin else ter tell meh?"

"No"

"Then ah shall see yer again at dinner."


After leaving the room he called a young man to him who seemed familiar.

"William?"

"Yes sir it is me. I thought you would not recognise me."

"Oh but I did! Tell me lad. Has your skill in hiding and moving around unnoticed left you yet?"

"No sir! I am still the best spy and tracker around these lands sir!"

"Grand. Ah want yer to do a favour for me"

He gave him the directions for Strongholt. "It is a short trip if you use the moongates. I just can't stand them really". The lad run off with his orders in mind. To have a look if everything is okay back there and report back to him. He wanted to stay home a bit if everything was okay.

The lad came back the next night. He was out of breath and was offered some water. He gave a very detailed report. What happened to a woman called Calantha and Rebecca, a man named Gorn and another short person named Auril.

He frowned deeply. He knew what this meant. And he knew that Gorn should have listened to him when he said that it was a bad idea to bring this lass to stay with him in Strongholt.

He got into his uniform armed up and got supplies for the road. He would be running. He might reach the keep by the next night. He might not. He would try to. Whenever he reached though, he would help avenge the lost child along with the others. He would make specifically sure as well, that the ones that actually hurt them are beheaded and their heads on pikes paraded on the streets of Cove.

Unfortunately he ran into his mother on his way out.

"I shall not be returning mother. My place is with them now. Do not come looking for me. There beh many people that want to hurt me. None of them know about you. Friends or not. Ah was even married once. She nayh even knows about you and that is the way it shall remain. Farewell mother."

And with that he picked up pace and started runnin towards the direction of Strongholt. His thoughts were running along with him. Images of what he would do to the covians. Images of how he thought Gorn and Calantha and Rebecca would be now. How much it must have hurt them. Noone murders a Kaldorian even if he beh unborn and gets away with it. No more diplomacy...no more "gentlemens" agreements. Now swords will do the talking. The way it should always be. We are the strongest. we shall be the ones that remain. His only hope was that Covians would not offer a formal apology to the Commander and for diplomacys sake she accepted. He knows that himself and most of the others would not accept that. She will just have to go with it he guessed.

He ran as fast as he could in an attempt to be there with them fer the first battle.

[Mordred of Kaldor]

He didn't make it for the assault against Cove. He had found though that all went well and that the Covians had to face the wrath of Kaldor. He was satisfied with that albeit a bit regretful he was not there to help.

He walked around Strongholt but couldn't find anyone. Until he heard some noise coming from the jails. They must have brought in a few prisoners from last night he guessed.

Upon entering the jails he saw Visko, Veg, Edwin, Kali, Auril and Cal. He saluted and walked to the table opposite the cell that was occupied. The Commander called for him and it was then to his surprise that the prisoner was Demarian. The winner of the fight of the event in Luna. It struck him as odd.

After asking a few questions he found out that the man had turned himself in. Just walked into Strongholt like that and gave himself up. It turned out that he nay layed a finger upon Gorn's wife and he wanted to clear that out. And that it was he who broke Gorns arm after being called upon to act on a favour he owed to the man to whom Gorn had done the same. Mordred knew this man to be a man of honour. He had fought against him in Cove and many many other fights.

He kept talking to him when he saw Gorn run into the jail in a frenzy, flying towards the cell door axe in hand shouting and swearing and threatening. A man in that condition, rightfully so in that condition, is not easy to get a holf of or restrain. Amazingly enough it just took a simple order and he had stopped.

Gorn believed that Demarian as well had hurt his wife leading to the loss of his unborn child. Even if that was clear it was not true. I let 'im in the cell. after all, Demarian could not have been as naive to think that he would come in here and not get at least a good beating. Which Gorn started to give him. Punches at first but later on I swear I heard the mans skull cracking. Surprisingly enough Demarian could take a horrible amount of beating. Gorn pushed Demarian's head in the railings telling him to remember his name when he sacrifices him to Raza. Demarian fought back a bit. Only to get Gorn off him. He understood how Gorn felt because he himself had lost his wife and two children. He said it but Gorn was too frenzied to listen.

I did though and the Commander stepped in and stopped Gorn. Demarian, Covian that he was, unlike most of them, had honour. It was clear that Gorn wanted a chance to fight him so it was offered to him. He did remind me though that he could only use one hand so Demarian fought him with one as well.

Gorn charged him like a bull. After a while it was clear that although fighting with one arm Gorn's other must have given him considering pain while swinging. This was a mismatch. Demarian had Gorn down and raised his mace high above his head as if to finish him. I grinned under my helm. I knew it was never in his intentions to hurt Gorn, but his taste for drama was acknowledged. He threw down his mace and went to help Gorn up. Gorn ofcourse nay accepted his help and lifted himself up.

Demarian after having won his duel was free to go. I went to escort him out of town.

We had a talk before he left. Our intentions of getting that church man Hugo were no secret. It was all his fault to start with. What surprises me is that a man of the church does not feel guilt or remorse for having murdered an unborn child. It was he who should have turned himself in not Demarian. ButI guess this is what separates men from cowards. He will get what is coming to him.

Demarian is if not the best, one of the strongest fighters of cove. And a man with skill an honour is difficult to defeat. There is no shame in losing to a duel with him.

He told me that we would have to go through the whole covian army at some point to get to Hugo. I nay saw the problem in that. We proved we could do that and we would do that again. Earlier on people wanted us to use him to get to Hugo but that is not the way we do it. We'll just go in and drag him out ourselves is what I said.

Demarian then mentioned Yew. That they are most probably going to forge an alliance with them. That was sickening. He said that they had done it in the past and that they were undefeated. Pah. I'd rather kill myself then fight alongside such scum. Defeating their joined forces would just make our victory grander. He was very confident though. Maybe what he does not realise is that along with their great numbers, the Yewmen bring along numerous enemies as well. They are not the most loved people around.

Our last words were those of mutual respect. We remembered that it had been a long time since us two had crossed blades. He took out his spear then. I was half inclined to fight him at that very moment. I just told him that the way things are it shall not be long before it happens. And I will specifically look for him on the battleground. Maybe when all this is over we can have our duel. But right now both our armies need us. Besides. He was honourable. Him and Hoagie. They deserve a good death on the battlefield. Not in some part of a jungle were nobody will notice.

I don't know if Gorn will understand me. If he will hate his beloved sergeant for not letting blind rage replace the way we should treat an honourable man. It is one more lesson he will have to learn, if he is going to be the Maul that he can be. He will understand sooner or later.

[Mordred of Kaldor]

Who let this fourteen year old wee girl join the ranks of an army... I saw her, hair pink as...as pink as can be. Cheery young thing no doubt. Very energetic as is to be expected. And a real prankster it seems.

I was looking around for the rest and there she was. Talked to her a bit and she offered to show me some very nice place. I do trust any person wearing the Kaldorian uniform so I went through the gate the wee child had opened. Very talented for her age. Next thing I am in a Trinsic cell, she dispelled the gate and vanished.

Not funny at all I thought....After a while she reappeared and gated me back to the keep. Under any other circumstances I would have laughed. But being grumpy (maybe I'm just getting old...) and hostile with the Duchy, I did not find it funny. I wasn't about to punish a 14 year old though, uniform or not.

Was walking with the girl in tow and I reached the bath house. Many voices I could hear and I saw Shelly and Victor standing on the steps alone in their bathing suits. Hit me the wrong way.

They were all cheery for some reason. I was in no mood. They blocked my way up the stairs so I told them to stand aside and went up. The girl had mentioned Gorn chasing her around and shouting at her so I figured he was the one taking care of her. It seems he was not. The Commander had given her the uniform. They were all to cheery so I did nay want to spoil their mood. I just got up and left.

It was only later that I found out about Dimman and Cove. Odd. Having fun dipping in the water when something like this had transpired.

Maybe I am indeed getting old. And I cannot begin to understand why I am so...grumpy is not the right word. My mood change started when I killed all these orcs a while back. Rage. Uncontrolable. Since then feelings like hatred and revenge have been swelling up in me. Praying at His temple has not helped me as I was told it would. I am at loss. I do not know what to do to stop this. I am trying to focus on my duty, call upon my training as a soldier. Block everything out. But it is near impossible.

Circumstances do not help at all either. After the Orcs an idiotic Baron could not stand a comment about his boots and his Churchman killing an unborn child of a person who I call a friend. Burning down his church is not enough. I was fine fighting a war against Trinsic. But fighting a war against Cove for the stupidity of two men? Fighting against an army of whom many members I respect? Because they are too thick to understand that they are protecting two fools? My grandfathers death. My journey home and back again. How can someone control his feelings with all this foolishness happening around him.

Kai is a blessed man after all.

I am too old to be taught new tricks. I cannot change the way I think or take my decisions. I have to focus on what is important. I have to put my personal feelings on the side for I shall be consumed by them. Praying at His Temple nay works. Maybe venting on some orcs or anything will help.

Noone else can help me but me now. They best not try to and leave me alone. They have other things to attend to. Recruits be pouring in. Wars to be planned. The Commander and the Captain are working fine together. More are taking initiative. It is easier for me now to conceal what is happening to me until I deal with it.