Heresy

((This is a 3-part story really - Emotional Rescue, The Atonement, and The Dissapearance of Aeron - to be read in that order.))
************************************************** ******
This is the second part - the Atonement.

Weeks later...

A shaman sits in silence on a rocky outcropping deep within the jungles of Stranglethorn, as seabirds cry in the distance and a seemingly endless waterfall roars below her, crashing perpetually into the sea.

She sighs, leaning her chin on the handle of her ornate axe, gripping it in blood-stained greaves. Its still encrusted with evidence of battle, and she idly plucks away the remnants of hair and scalp from a long-dead blood elf and flicks it out over the boulder's edge, where it drifts slowly down to the waiting arms of the water.

Her arms ache. Her mind aches.

She pulls something out of her satchel; a flask of bourbon, its polished silver surface gleaming in the sun. She uncorks it, and lifts it to her lips before pausing.

"No."

Its one thing to fall asleep in Shattrath, like some drunken derelict. To do so in the jungle was suicide. The flask is put away, and she reaches in yet again to retrieve a single, lushly fragrant peach.

She sniffs it before biting into its surface, chewing the fruity flesh thoughtfully, staring out into the thick, verdant jungle across the inlet.

She savours it; she lets the flavour overtake her; own her. He comes with it. Of course he will, it is the way she remembers him, after all, safely tucked away, a private hiding place.

Like a book whose cover is finally, carefully lifted, a swirl of memory is allowed to enter her mind, enchantingly peaceful and yet electric, as if lightning somehow had a silken hand.

He loved her. She knew that now.

The wind picks up slightly in that moment, lifting her hair, like fingertips grazing her features like an invisible caress.

Another memory.

She closes her eyes.

And for a moment, the edges blur and fade; she forgets everything else.

************************************************** ************************************************** *****************

The Atonement

Selwan saw Ledgic high up on the smooth stone steps on Aldor Rise; his back to her, his hair, and the curve of his shoulder immediately recognised even from a distance. It was precisely that pain of familiarity...once seeing him, all affection returning, that made what she had to do all the more difficult.

For a moment, she said nothing, simply watching him, struggling internally to find the right words. Instinctually, Selwan felt less guilty about the kiss itself than the feeling it might have awakened; at least in that sense, the young shaman was becoming less oblivious to her own emotions.

"A kiss, one kiss. Apologise. Atone, and accept the consequences, and it will all be okay." These were the words her mind and heart truly believed as she tentatively made her way towards him.

The closer she got, the more poignant the emotion..Ledgic, familiar, warm, silly Ledgic, tormented and yet so resilient. He held so few secrets, the unintentional family man with daggers strapped to his sides.

She swallowed and took one breath before speaking.

"Ledgic." she smiled weakly.

"Hey, darlin'!" he turned, mildly surprised at her being close by, and smiled broadly, practically crushing her.

She laughed softly, blinking at the firm and spontaneous hug before returning it in kind.

"Hey yourself...I'm..I'm so glad to see you here, Led, of all things here? In Shattrath?"

"Aye well, ah ha' a few things to take care'o, figured ah'd come by on tha' chance ye might be near. And..here ye are."

He released her and winked conspiratorially.

"Yes..well, I'm here...oh it feels like its been forever."

"Wha' ye been up ta, then?"

"Same as usual, its taking every man and woman we can muster at Auchindoun just to to keep things from getting worse. Its been hours..after hours..." she sighed, as he extended his arms, and she fell into them, head dropping down onto his shoulder tiredly.

"Ah, well ye jes' need ta know when ta take a break..."

"This from you? That's a bit ironic." she lifted her head and smirked at him, for a moment forgetting the dreadful task that lay before her.

Ledgic laughed, hearty and easygoing as always.

It was like this, when she'd see him again. Everything clicked back into place, into some warm circle of familarity, where she could fall back into a sense of normality. After all, he'd been in her life since her first days in Stormwind. It was only when he was gone for so very long that the circle seemed to fade, replaced by some new, wild truth that had no boundaries, that both tempted and frightened some part of her.

"And you're allright? I've seen Aramus nearly every day.."

"Ye, o'course. Ye have?"

"Yes, it appears he's been assigned to some of the same skirmishes as myself..Legion forces have completely penetrated the ruins."

The rogue leaned back against the wall, crossing one foot over the other, thinking in silence for a moment. Selwan was never quite sure if she should bring up Aramus to him; the brother that had done seemingly no good, so rigid and judgemental was the warrior that Selwan often wanted to strike him; but she couldn't hate Aramus enough to bring herself to do so. She wasn't sure why...but there was a weary quality to the warrior that somehow said "I do actually believe this, it is not cruelty that guides my words"...that kept her less angry towards him and more frustrated at his jugement of his little brother.

"I did have one...day away from the battle..."

"Well..tha's good....", he offered.

Selwan nodded, slowly.

Here we go.

"Yes...as you may have heard, the Commander held the auction in Darnassus..and..I did volunteer to participate."

At this, Ledgic seemed to stiffen slightly, but said nothing.

"I had ...well... I had hoped you'd be there, but I understand if....things were too chaotic, if you could not." She dropped her head a moment. It'd make him feel guilty, and that wasn't her intention.

"So, how'd it go then?"

"Very well! I brought in a good sum myself, was pleased that I could help, but.."

"But?" he raised an eyebrow, his fingers drumming against the wall behind him.

"Oh Led, it was a lot more difficult than I'd anticipated...really! What I expected..and what I experienced, even Reilara was in gold and violet..well, there was more of Reilara than the fabric, which was quite unusual for her."

Ledgic chuckled softly, disbelieving.

"And..so many faces, none that I knew, poking at us like we were cattle...commenting on my..tail.." Selwan blushed, furiously.

At this the rogue's face hardened.

"If I'd known ye were gonna try an go ah woulda stopped ye."

Some part of her resisted his words. Some part of her thought.. "No, you cannot and will not stop me, Ledgic. I must be allowed to make my own mistakes." But she said..nothing.

"Well, as it turned out I was lucky enough to be purchased by someone familiar...I was quite sure I was going to some gnome bent on having me but..."

She smiled a bit.

"..well a friend stepped foward and saved the evening."

"Oh?" Ledgic was looking down now, kicking at the toe of one boot with the other, focused on her words.

"Yes, of course I insisted on paying him back, at least in part! Its not right that he should give up so much gold simply for that.."

"So who was it?"

Selwan paused, and sighed.

And so, it begins.

"Aeron Morieth."

Ledgic didn't move for a moment, then looked up slowly, to meet her in the eye.

"Aeron." he spoke, flatly.

Selwan merely nodded.

************************************************** *

Ledgic seemed to be thinking internally, his jaw, unshaven and stubbled, moving slightly as he took this bit of information to heart.

"Well tha' was nice o' him." the mood of the sentence was utterly impossible to read. Did he mean it? Was it a veiled sarcastic comment?

"It was." Selwan was sincere. She was grateful, she had been unnerved somewhat by the experience and Aeron and Seiken's attempts to spare her further indignity would not be forgotten easily. "And..it was a lot of money..about fourteen hundred gold."

"Fourteen hunn'er...." his eyes widened slightly, but there was a cold glitter that lingered about them. Ledgic muttered to himself. "Won'er what he thinks he was gonna get fer' tha.."

"Hm?" Selwan looked up at him, unable to make out his words at first.

Ledgic sneered slightly. "Nothin'."

It dawned on her then, some vague realisation...that a girl might be unable to understand, but a woman would know immediately - what Ledgic was implying had just begun to dawn on her. She blushed slightly, frowning.


Not out of embarrassment - not entirely, is it, Selwan? Perhaps out of guilt?


"He was..a gentleman, Ledgic..perfectly so, in fact."

Ledgic nodded slowly, looking away again and sighing deeply.

"Its..me...if anyone, you should direct your anger towards. He's done nothing to you."

"Ah can't be angry at ye." He smiled slightly then and winked, chocolate brown eyes lighting up like little embers against his pale skin, cocking his head to one side.

When he smiled - which was less common than his persistent smirk - she smiled back, unable to resist it.

Ledgic had no sense of his own charm, which perhaps was a good thing, otherwise half of Stormwind would be broke, corrupt or pregnant by now.

But - she realised, soberly - it was precisely that selflessness that made him charming and yet vulnerable to Kaden.

How was it that Ledgic never saw it? Especially as Kaden sought him out so specifically - for as twisted as he was, Kaden wouldn't choose a weak pawn to do his bidding.

Why couldn't the rogue see? He was plagued by an utter inability to believe in himself, his own strength, his own power.

And in light of that, shaman, you are about to tell him this..how can you do it?

"I must be honest"

....she struggles internally.

"I cannot lie. At least I have that, the truth, and he will know it to be so. If I lie to him, then it is broken..all broken."


"You might be well angry, when I tell you what I have done." Selwan dropped her head, sighing, and leaning slightly to the side, laid both axes against the wall.

"Wha'dya mean by tha?"

She took a deep breath, and began to tell him about the trip, innocent enough as most of it was..the long journey south, the unexpected farm, and then..the caves.

Tell him. You must atone. Accept responsibility for what you have done, Selwan.

"It had been such a long day, a strange one.." she began, hesitantly. It was proving much harder than she had originally thought. "And maybe it was that, or the fire, or that he had been so very kind.."

Ledgic was watching her again, evenly, silently. She could hear the faint sound of his breathing against the hushed movements of the anchorites nearby.

"...we talked for some time. And..something just.."

She sighed.

Just say it. Just....say it, Selwan. Stop issuing disclaimers for it, they will not be relevant once he knows.

"I kissed him, Ledgic...it was just once, and I realised immediately I should not have, and I told him even then I would have to tell you."

The fire went out in his eyes for a moment, replaced by a dark cool gaze. He said only one word.

"Righ'."

Selwan reached out and gently touched his arm. "I am sorry. But I also felt I had to be honest with you.."

He smirked. "Ah shoulda been there ta make sure he didn' get tha' chance.."

His hand gripped the hilt of one dagger. She heard the leather of his gloves creak slightly.

"No.." she tried to touch his shoulder but he pulled away.

"Ledgic..this is not his wrongdoing, it is mine.. be angry at me, if you must strike out, then strike at me.."

Her gaze followed his movements, appealing to him even as she saw his fingers graze over his weapon.

"I...it was me that kissed him, I started it. I caused it. He was not at fault!"

His jaw clinched and he sighed grimly, muttering. His voice dropped, lower and angrier. "Ah said no' again after Shonah went an' lef', ah said..no' again. And now ye go an do tha'..."

Selwan nodded slowly. "Yes, and I was wrong to do this to you, and I'm sorry....but.."

She walked away and stood looking out over Aldor Rise, out into what had evolved into a wierd and misty day, and rested one hand on the archway. Glancing at her own forearm, faint, faded scars from the crash still visible..it seemed a million years ago, suddenly, the day the Exodar fell.

It all seemed a million years ago - her first days in Stormwind, barely capable of a word of their language, cowering nervously before every Kal'dorei, remembering their stinging words on Azuremyst. It seemed a million years ago that she befriended a wily, charming and self-conscious rogue who now stood before her, hurting, because of something she'd done. And in some ways all of it suddenly struck her as unfamiliar, as if she'd been an impostor in her own life, going along in a bubble of confidence when in fact, most of it was as alien to her now as it had always been..honesty with others was a noble enough trait. But Selwan had never been honest with herself about most things - her almost visceral love of violence that went against so much of her training and heritage, her eccentric and unpredictable nature, and her complex and growing emotions for two men that were so alike in some ways - and miles apart in others.

And without that self-examination...the young Draenei had been indeed blind. How long it would be that she stayed that way remained to be seen.

"..Ledgic.."

"Wha'." he growled.

He turned to see the shaman on bent knee before him, head bowed slightly.

Atonement. Speak the truth, simply.

"...I'm going to make mistakes. I'm not...so used to the way your world is, even now. You've been married, you've had a child, I've had none of this..exposure to such relationships, I'm still coming to learn what they even mean, what they cost, what they require. I'm not going to say I have no feelings for Aeron, that would be lying to both of us. I do. But having them and acting on them is two different things...this much I am starting to understand...and I hope you will come to forgive me for what I did, in time. If you can't, then...."

She swallowed, sadly, as a cold feeling washed over her, feeling how it would be for him to say "I don't forgive, I don't care, you were wrong."

His words interrupted her next thought.

"Ah jus' don' know." He sounded so tired suddenly.

She nodded, not looking up, feeling a tear well in her eye. How could she do this to him, how selfish had she been to give in to one moment of desire?

"Thing is..ah ...well, I love ye', Selwan. An...ye can't go...ah mean, jes' ain' right to go an'..." he struggled on each word, his face playing out the conflict of emotions.

His words registered as something of a shock. It wasn't as if she thought he hadn't cared about her. It was just that Ledgic wasn't prone to such words, such expressions. But then again, neither was she.

Selwan had never uttered the word in her life except once...to the Commander and that was about something else entirely.........

"So what is it to be, Miss Rogash, Enforcer, or Lorekeeper?"

And she had looked at Maxus and smiled slightly. "I love to fight."

It was the only time in her life Selwan Rogash had said she loved anything.

Not that it meant she never had before, of course, its just that she'd felt no need to say it. Her parents knew she loved them. Her snake didn't care, and her love of more personal things..peaches and bourbon, sparkling stars, and moonlit shorelines, that was a private matter, just as she loved the chaotic, bloody, adrenaline-fuelled rush of battle, when the enemy's face no longer brought a sense of guilt but a rush of excitement.

Love never needed discussion. Love was simple, a private and unspoken understanding between yourself, and that which you loved.

At least that's what she's always thought.

She let herself fall backwards to sit on the floor, tiredly, gazing up at him, remembering everything between them. Befriending each other in Stormwind. Old conversations in Telaar, fighting together in the rain in Darkshire, taking him to see Surussus, the confession of the Caan murders. She studied the detail of his face, the little scar over his eyes, the razor stubble, the eyes that could be warm and teasing, or dead and cold.

How utterly different her relationship with the tormented and complex Ledgic was from Aeron - Aeron was older - more secretive, more elegant...but they also met on equal terms, in most cases, at least it felt that way. Her involvement with Ledgic was not easily defined, he had halfway tried to guide and protect her, and had halfway needed her help. A man, and yet a child, trapped in leather - complicated by the fact she rarely saw him.

Did she love him?

She pondered it a moment. They'd been there for each other. Trusted each other. Cared for each other. She'd fought for his very soul, appealed to the elements, to his own brother, to anyone that would listen - to give Ledgic Caan some credibility, to have faith in him. She had tried through every way she knew, despite being thrown into an utterly unfamiliar and chaotic situation, to aid him in the battle against Kaden.

The question still lingered, poking at her mind through all her rambling.

Did she love him?

Its a word she'd never used on a human, not like that...not directly.

His pale face, younger than it looked sometimes - haunted by the menacing spirit of a dead man, of his own past, and now his own, raw confession - gazed back at her in silence.

Of course she did.

Some part of her is shouting inside but she doesn't hear it. Something gets split in two but she doesn't feel it.

Not yet.

She stood slowly and walked to him and tentatively rested her head against his, forehead to forehead, his hair falling foward and tickling her face, her hand resting lightly on his arm. She hadn't seen him in weeks; how good it had felt - even under such pained circumstances - to be near him now.

"And I..I do love you. I'm still learning this..what this means, what it takes. And I'm sorry that's caused you pain, Ledgic. I will do my best to ensure that it never happens again."

He smiled slightly at her words.

She tried then to imitate his own accent for a moment. "An'........ ah can promise ye' tha' much won' change...."

She believed every word she said as he looked at her and chuckled, and kissed her lightly on the cheek, every word as she blinked and smiled, hugging him in gratitude for his forgiveness.

She believed every word she said, now forgetting all the long, slow weeks without him, worrying, wondering and purging the sense of lonliness with as much blood and bourbon as her body could handle...the growing feeling of isolation bringing her to the brink of betrayal.

She believed it, as she touched his face, the shadow of Kaden lingering about him.

Forgetting it all for a moment, and thinking only that he was there, now, and it was okay again. It was all going to be fine.

Every word she said.

**************************************

As this exchange between a young rogue and shaman takes place, another rogue, a few years older, stands some distance away on Scryer terrace, gazing down over the mist-cloaked city below him.
Aeron Morieth's green eyes take in his environment in silence, only blinking occasionally as his private thoughts - the thoughts of a man well-schooled in restraint - linger, unspoken, upon his mind.


Blasted fools…

They chose a bad time… as usual. The bastards want the documents…

Do they have any clue how much work it is? How did they even get the idea I’ll even consider giving it back?

Threatening me to deliver them? Hah… as if that’s supposed to help… I got nothing to lose anyways…

Or do I?

Aeron shifts his weight wearily from one foot to the other, a small sigh escaping his lips.

Selwan Farla Rogash…

I lost all reasoning that night, lost it all, just looking into your eyes…

Lost it… feeling your touch…

Listening to your laughter…

That relaxing scent… the lingering touch of your lips against mine, the fierce kiss that shattered my guard…

The kiss that made you realize something…the reason you backed away…

It hurt more then I expected…maybe I grew too bold, maybe it was a bad idea in the first place.

I should know better than this by now…yet, you keep staying on my mind, whether I want it or not…

Maybe I should do as they say after all…

It’s going to be a long night…


With resigned and purposeful steps, the rogue turns and strides away from the ledge, and willingly towards an uncertain fate.

__________________
"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it." - Mae West
Fireflower's Words of Wisdom: http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/a...ompilation.jpg